the world is collapsing around our ears

Does anyone know of any great radio stations on the web, that I can listen to at work with a Windows Media Player? The thing about radio is that it's either over-commercialized and has the same 15 songs playing over and over, or a public/community/college station that plays so much stuff that I've never even heard of. Last week a coworker tipped me to a Seattle college station called KEXP, during the day I seem to know or recognize about 30-40% of the songs, I've heard them play pavement, white stripes, sonic youth, the streets, fiery furnaces, spoon, belle and sebastian, GBV, blackalicious, interpol, and others. But if anybody knows of another station that's even better, please comment and let me know.

drive-in saturday

Whirlwind of packing seems to have stalled. I did do a lot, packed all of my clothes, books, CDs, DVDs, computer stuff and random cords, got some stuff together for my parents to take with them, threw away another 5 garbage bags of junk and an old lamp. There's not too much more I can do before I actually get inside the new place and see what I have room for. Also today I walked to the library and saw "Saved!" at the cheap theatre, which was really good actually, better than my expectations. Probably the only movie featuring Mandy Moore that I'll ever see with a clear conscience.

Tonight one of the annoying bitch-girl roommates is gone for the weekend, and the other is having 4 friends over from out of town. They left to go eat or something a while ago, but I'm sure they'll be back to take over the apartment and annoy me to no end. So with my dinner I stole one of the beers they had brought. Ha! Advantage, yours truly.

In addition to said beer, I also had made myself a bloody mary, and judging by the way I feel at present, must have added a smidge too much vodka.

So, I should probably pack some more crap, but I'm also tempted to make myself another drink, and further tempted to collapse on my bed and do nothing til morning. Tomorrow I'll load up the car and go see my new house.

Oh, as of yesterday I'm officially not applying for the new underwriting position at work. My address will probably change, once again, in three months.

boring personal post

So this weekend I have to pack, then Sunday I write a giant check and get my key to my new place, then next week I'll move myself piece by piece, and then next Friday I'll send my remaining furniture and whatnot home to my parents' house. I'm getting a new phone number and found out that I'm stuck paying for dsl until the middle of september, which is OK I guess. Also, I guess because I'm poor, I'm eligible for a credit which gives me free phone installation and cuts my bill nearly in half a month, so that's pretty cool. Last Sunday I got my paystubs from the parking ramp, and it turned out that they were paying my nearly a dollar and a half less than they're supposed to. Luckily, I'm getting it straightened out, with back pay. Stupid finances, what a pain.

This week has been quick, I watched way too much of the DNC (more on that later, I'm sure), hinted to a couple people at work that I may be leaving in a few months, skipped the Walkmen show last night without much regret, threw away five trash bags full of junk I don't want to move. In a week I'll be pretty much moved in, and then have to come back here to clean and act as 'Subleasee wranger' at the end of the lease. Some random dude apparently is staying here, in the (mostly) empty room, for the last week and a half of the lease, which is just stupid. Counting him, and the other dude who stayed here for like a week in june, there have been 9 people who've lived here in the two years of my lease. And all of them left crap and furniture behind, which is everywhere. No clue on what my security deposit is going to end up as, I'll probably get shafted, despite all the cleaning I plan on doing. I'm tired of being everyone's babysitter since I've lived here, I always have to tell everyone that a bill is due, or explain things and keep an eye on people. So i'm looking forward to renting my room and not having any responsibility, starting in two weeks.

So tonite I've decided that I'm going to skip packing in favor of doing nothing. Relaxing. Listen to some music. Maybe watch a dvd. Read some. Then tomorrow I'll be a nonstop whirlwind of packing fury.

OBAMA!!!

Barack Obama is awesome.  He is running for Senate in Illinois, and tonight he gave an amazing speech at the democratic convention.  You can, and should, read it here:

click

Causing trouble on the South Beach

Yesterday, after I was leaving a movie theater, I decided to walk into a very nearby grocery store, since I was in close proximity.  My food reserves have been shrinking rapidly over the past few weeks, I am reluctant to buy anything because A: I'm moving soon, and B: I'm trying to save money.  Therefore, I've been on the all-carb diet.  Typical day:  Cheap, bagged cereal for breakfast, a swallow of orange juice directly from the jug to wash down daily vitamins, at work usually granola/cereal bar or two or some popcorn/rice cake in the morning, then a lunch of two sandwiches, usually pb&j, a yogurt, and an apple.  Some more snack in the afternoon, then dinner of pasta, lately with a salad of spinach leaves and croutons on the side.  Usually that's it, unless I'm hungry and have some popcorn or something at night.  I haven't bought meat, aside from sandwich meats, in a month or more.  Today my stomach protested loudly as I considered my options.

So, back to yesterday, in the grocery store, full of delicious foods of all kinds, and I walk directly past all of them into the liquor department.  This too is something I haven't bought much of late, just a couple bottles of wine, but I haven't bought any hard liquor in close to a year now.  So, I walk past the delicious deli chickens and fresh fruit and frozen pizzas and leave the store with vodka and bloody mary mix, telling myself that this 16 dollars could not be spent in a better way, arriving home to eat a dinner of tuna salad without bread, drinking two large alcohol beverages and telling myself that everything's going to be OK, it will be OK.

Stop breakin' down blues

Though I’ve had my driver’s license for nine years now, I’ve only had my own vehicle for two.  Before that I bummed rides or rode my bike, or, when in high school or on summer vacation, could use one of my parent’s old cars, meaning though I was the only person who drove it, I couldn’t be held responsible for any maintenance or mechanical problems.  I would gladly hand over the keys as I said, “The car is acting funny,” and would get them back when the car had been fixed, remaining ignorant to concepts like transmission, water pump, and headlights.  My father once attempted to show me how to change my own oil, but I didn’t like getting my hands dirty or too close to the hot engine, and was too preoccupied by rolling down the driveway on the wheeled backrest used to examine the undersides of cars.  I’m not a car guy, and when the subject is breeched in conversation I tend to idly daydream until the group switches back to sports or movies or music.  In fact, all the cars I like are actually the ones with the best songs in the commercials.  “I’d like to buy the one with the Modest Mouse song, but I’d settle for the one with the Walkmen song.”   Chrysler recently aired commercials with songs by Celine Dion, and my interest in that particular car instantly shot to zero. 

The time spent having my own car has largely been consumed by fear.  Fear of something going horribly, horribly wrong.  I bought my car, a 1993 Ford Taurus, when it had 130,000 miles on it.  Since then I’ve driven 20,000 miles expecting at any moment to unbuckle my seatbelt, open the door, and roll out of the moving car as it exploded into flame.  Every mile that passes on the odometer is greeted by both a sigh of relief that nothing went wrong, and an increasing feeling of dread, knowing that I’m one mile closer to my fiery grave. 

It’s an old car, and makes lots of strange noises, and I have not been properly trained to recognize the ones that spell trouble.  I’m the only one who drives it, and rarely have a passenger, and lack the Michael Winslow-like ability to accurately replicate the noises over the phone to my dad.  So I’ve taken to ignoring the noises completely, and relying on the more simple theory of:  The car does not move, or is having much difficulty in moving.  Thus, there must be something wrong with the car.  This has happened three times, and three times I’ve taken my car to a mechanic (one by towing), and three times I’ve had to pay a giant bill. 

In the meantime, I have been taking my car for oil changes every 3000 to 3500 miles.  This is easy, you don’t have to be a car guy to know when you need an oil change.  I go to a place which supposedly checks your entire car for other things that could make it explode or stop running, and offers an array of general maintenance options, all at an incredibly inflated price.  But the peace of mind I get for the five miles of traveling afterwards are worth it.  The people that work there are definitely car guys, and I trust them to take care of me.  However, upon every visit they seem to suggest more and more pricey services based on the mileage, like a transmission or fuel system flush, and I always seem to make up some lie about how I had that done at a mechanic a while back, simply because I don’t want to blindly shell out 80 bucks for something I’m not sure if I need.  Today I made one of my visits, and since my car has made very threatening noises when making sharp turns for a few months now, I opted to get the power steering treatment, which came highly recommended by the mechanic who heard my turn into the parking lot.  Add on a fuel filter and a replaced turn signal bulb, and my oil change bill was suddenly 153 dollars.  “It’s been 30,000 miles, so we recommend you get the whole ‘fuck you up the ass with a sharp stick’ treatment.”

A few months ago I drove my girlfriend’s car, after some party where she was busy slurring declarations of love in my ear, and I was amazed at how much I enjoyed driving without having to worry about something going wrong.  Her car was quiet, her car accelerated naturally and evenly, her car didn’t squeak or grind or whine, her car has 125,000 miles less on it than mine.  When I move to Chicago, which looks to be this fall, I’ll sell my Taurus, or maybe just give to my parents to sell, and be content complaining about the poor train service in my neighborhood.  Until then drama is high as I contemplate whether I’ll make it to the move without any third degree burns.

paint the red states blue

I'm debating whether or not the average American citizen is a complete moron.  Bush seems to only talk in catch-phrases, probably because short phrases are the only thing he can speak coherently.  "I'm a uniter, not a divider"?  what the fuck is that shit?  From the 2000 campaign, and four years later we're equally split on reelecting the most right-wing, uncompromising president ever.  And now his campaign seems to be using his stubbornness as a good thing.  Being a jackass not does make a strong leader.  And it also seems that Bush deflects criticism by coming up with catchy names for laws.  The "Clear Skies" initiative sounds great, I love the environment, and so does W, with a law like that.  But of course the non-morons who actually read the smaller print under the headline before they page through looking for the day's "Get Fuzzy" would see that the law actually lifts emissions restrictions set up by the Clinton administration, and also gives giant polluters a extra 15 or so years to voluntarily comply.  Not to mention the tearing up of forests and mining and drilling in former wildlife refuges.  The "No Child Left Behind" act sounds pretty good too, except it essentially shrinks the education budget down to nothing.  Today Bush tried to court African-American voters, telling them his kick-ass tax cut which sent the economy into a downward spiral is now helping create more jobs for their communities.  yo'K! 

Potent Potables

One of these days I swear Alex Trabek is going to freak out and start pummeling Ken Jennings.  I work too late most days, so someone be sure to tape it for me.  Also, I should start a pool to guess which rapper namechecks K.J. first.  It'll probably take a good six months, but let me know if anyone hears anything.  But, for the life of me, I can't come up with a single decent lyric.  ("You've got more questions than ken jennings..."???  But what rhymes will jennings?  But it doesn't have to always rhyme anymore, does it?)

Hamburger Helper double cheese pizza is the greatest.  As the second helping is always better than the first, because it thickens some.  Mighty tasty.

The first Fiery Furnaces album is better than their latest, I've decided, but the cover art isn't as good.

What Franz Ferdinand (the band, not the arch-duke) were thinking before they wrote 'Michael':  "Hey, lets record some forced homo-eroticism and it'll be a hit in gay bars and we'll be rich.  Niche-marketing, baby!"  It makes me roll my eyes.

The star of "Scrubs" has written, directed, and starred in a new movie called "Garden State", which comes out next month.  It's actually gotten lots of glowing reviews, and I'm looking forward to it.

I may see "Coffee and Cigarettes" this weekend, but maybe something else.

I have a subscription to Spin magazine until the end of 2006.  Don't ask me how it happened.  But the past few issues they've featured a rambling essay by Dave Eggers.  How cool is that?  Awesome writer, terrible hair.  I saw him read a couple years ago in town.

I've got another two weeks of dsl access, and that's it.  So if someone knows of any amazing records to download, please let me know.  I'm unsure of the future of this blog as well.  And what in the hell am I going to do about porn?!

I've been buying a lot of wine lately, but most of it has been crap.  What's cheap and good?

Today I got a clinic bill for $150.  But, you say, I don't remember you saying that you've been ill recently.  Have you been keeping something from me?  Well, no, because this bill is for a fucking year ago!  I thought I was off the hook, didn't receive anything and that money is long gone.  Where's the statute of limitations for these things? 

The Revolution will not be Televised

Go here everyday: http://mcsweeneys.net/links/bush/

There's a lot of things that I didn't even know about.  I read all of them just now.  Things are worse than I had even imagined.

behind closed doors and shower curtains

This weekend I went to Chicago, but not until saturday morning.  Then i picked up my girlfriend's keys at the front desk of her building, and waited in her apartment for her to come home from work.  Ate lunch, she napped and I was bored some more, and then walked around the neighborhood, dinner at a nice carribean place, and a dvd at home (big fish, it was good).  Yesterday was Navy Pier with the ferris wheel, and I didn't leave the city til after 9, so I got back pretty late, tired today and cafeteria cappucino made me queasy, so i left work at 415 and came home and did nothing.  I feel better, pot pies and wine for dinner seemed to do the trick.  I found out today at work that my name is being circulated for a job that's opening up, which usually requires a business degree and years of experience, neither of which I have.  It would be a huge opportunity, I'd get benefits and bonuses and my pay would go up at least 50%, and it'd open bigger doors later on down the line.
 
Unfortunately, if offered, I wouldn't be able to accept it.  It would mean staying in town for at least another couple years, and I don't think I'm going to be able to do that.  And I'm not sure of how much more of the insurance business i can really take, I'm sure it'd make me crazy in five years anyway.  I kind of debated all that in my head today, after I heard my boss was thinking about me for the job, and I guess I decided that the money and possible rewards down the line aren't worth spending another couple years working and being lonely the rest of the time.  I don't know if this is short-sighted on my part, or if I'm just compelled to sabotage my future in every way possible.  But this, if I would get offered the job, which I probably won't and all this thinking was for nothing, would be my first real opportunity, career-wise, after bouncing around aimlessly during and since college.  Turning my back on it would be the work of a crazy man.

musique fantastique

For the past three years I've made annual 'best of' CD's, distilling the vast amount of music I've heard into one shiny shiny CD.  I give one to my sister every Christmas, along with whatever I picked out from her list, and she is continually surprised, probably because she has never listened to one of them.  Otherwise they go to friends and whoever I'm hanging out with at the time, usually I only make 8 or 10 or less, and keep one for myself.  A couple people, 4 at most, actually seem to appreciate them.  Last year the process went like this:  I made a list of the 40 or so CDs I'd bought that had an official release date of 2003 (or late late 2002 or very underground until 2003) and then rip the tracks I thought might make the cut.  I also go through my computer and select songs of albums i downloaded but never bought, which was a few dozen, like 50 cent, ted leo, the rapture, electric six, outkast, and the yeah yeah yeahs.  So all these songs, usually over a hundred, are listened to a billion more times, cuts are made, order is juggled, etc, until i finally have  a definite list.  So the whole process kinda takes a while, I put a lot of time into it.
 
Anyway, so this year i don't know if I'm going to make a CD.  For two reasons.
1.  Here is a list of CDs I've bought for the year:
         1. Mirah
         2. Sonic Youth
         3. The Streets
         4. The Fiery Furnaces (which I just bought yesterday)
      As you can see, way below my average.  Money is tight, and I can't afford to take as many gambles as I used to. 
 
2.  I'm moving in less than three weeks, and losing my dsl access.  A large portion of the best CDs are released in fall, and I won't be able to listen without buying (see #1).  I'm grabbing as much as I can now, but I know i'll miss something great.  As it is, every year I always let something slip through the cracks, and this year would be a major regression in quality.
 
So, we'll see what I've got come early December.  Maybe it's just that 2004 hasn't brought any surefire amazing songs that when I hear them, I immediately think of the end of the year, except for 'take me out'. 
 
Anyway, the real start to this post was supposed to be this:  I've listened to thousands of albums, and whenever I hear anything that I've never heard before, I always always always secretly cross my fingers and wish that this album/band will be amazing, and I'll have a new favorite band, and I'll have a vast discography of albums I've never heard to explore.  That doesn't happen much anymore, since I've heard a lot of music, and any band with many many albums has usually already been explored.  But when I was younger, it was great.  I bought 11 R.E.M. albums in a year, 12 sonic youth in two years, 6 pavement in a year, 5 elvis costello, lots of beatles, rolling stones, and stereolab, bands that all have many great records.  Nowadays, any band that releases a great new record has either released a bunch of crap previously, or is releasing their first album, upon which the follow-ups will pale in comparison.  I've heard lots of one-off great records, but none in quite a while (I still can't stand behind Franz Ferdinand 100%, though it's growing on me nicely, save for the last 3 songs). 
 
Three days ago I downloaded two songs by the Fiery Furnaces, one from their 2003 release, Gallowbird's Bark, the other from Blueberry Boat, released on Tuesday.  Together they totalled eleven minutes in length, and I must have listened to them about 10 times at least, while at work.  The next day I burned CDs of both albums.  I actually had downloaded the first record a few months ago, but hadn't given it much of a chance, and my computer speakers tend to hide a lot of great songs.  I listened to both these records a couple times each, and then yesterday evening I took a walk and bought their new record.  i really like the cover.  I listened to it some more, and the burned copy of the first one some more as well.  I will buy a legit copy of it soon.  Both of the records have flaws, and they probably will be forgotten in a couple decades, but I'm happy because I'm excited about them.  The band is just two people, brother and sister (for real!), and they are from new york though they grew up near Chicago.  You can read more about them and their two albums here.http://www.allmusic.com/cg/amg.dll?p=amg&token=ADFEAEE4781EDA49AF7F20D7913A4ADDA672FE1BDF4AF4AE0721425AD3FB3247801166E368A18898DBAE39B366AEF931A65A0FD786EF56F6DC6F373C8FFEC61D&uid=SUB030407162208&sql=11:hz811v03zzua~T1
Though let me just say that they blend every possible style of music from the last 75 years, or more, lots of music-hall piano and blues riffs, lots of electronic noises and beats and lots of stuff way in between, sometimes all mixed together and sometimes completely seperate, and their first album is more accessible and their second album is a 76 minute crazy masterpiece and in between they released an awesome vinyl single that sounds nothing and everything like the two records.  (the onion gave them a bad review, or at least not stellar, but despite what it says, i disagree) Lately, the past couple years, I've been listening to a lot of simple music, simple melody, spare instrumentation, white stripes, mates of state, gossip, kills, yyy's, beat happening, etc, and this is nothing like that, for the most part, though of course there are moments.  And a 76 minute album?  who knew I'd actually buy one.  Last night I lied in bed and put it on my headphones, and tried to decipher it.  Good times.
 
Anyway, you can find those two MP3's here: http://www.insound.com/mp3/searchmp3.cfm?searchby=Fiery%20Furnaces  Enjoy, and keep your feet on the ground, and keep reaching for the stars.

The 4 C's

Today I worked for eleven hours at the office, as usual the last one to leave. I got a lot done, save for an hour stretch between 430 and 530, when I took a long break and then sat back down and stared into space for awhile. Our network now is blocking outside email access, aka my yahoo account, so no more wasting time that way. Then I came home and made spaghetti and ate while watching Buffy the vampire slayer, and now its 9 pm already. Tired, had a great weekend with a sad goodbye. Saw spider-man 2 and liked it except for aunt may's overdrawn speech and the clunky climax and coda coda coda, though it might be cool for Daniel Desario to be the villain next time. Also, I know this is a comic book movie, but this happens in other movies and books as well: why does the female love interest always get engaged to some solid yet robotic gentleman devoid of any apparent personality, save for perhaps being a workaholic, when everyone is supposed to know that she is meant for the hero of the story, and even she realizes the connection between them? I guess I could see this happening in the Victorian age or something, but in real life does this ever happen? Except for on reality television, of course.

That reminds me, if anyone is secretly in love with me, they should probably tell me very soon. Or if anyone simply wants to talk some common sense into me, now's your chance.

do not disturb

so sorry for no rants or boring details, haven't had the time.

tomorrow my girlfriend is visiting for the weekend. it's been 26 days.

later.