Feeling pretty/purchasing power/Stop breathing

This Sunday is Halloween of course, and while in the past that meant putting on my Flavor Flav costume and getting drunk on state street, this year I have to go to a hospital sponsored Halloween party. Worse yet, all costumes have to follow the theme of “broadway musicals,” which is the worst theme possible. So not only do I have to meet a million new people, but I’ll have to do it dressed as Maria from West Side Story. Actually, I guess my domestic partner and I are dressing as trees, which I guess has something or other to do with a musical I’ve never heard of. So that means brown pants, green shirt, and a lot of explaining. At least it’s an open bar, and I’ve been told I have permission to drink as much as I want. So that’s something.

Tomorrow we’re going to Milwaukee, staying over at her Dad’s, and I think going to another Halloween-themed party at night, thrown by med school people. I don’t know how that’s going to go.

Tonite I’m on my own, M is on call. I’m thinking about going to see a Fahrenheit 9/11 screening somewhere on the U of C campus, hopefully it won’t rain tonight. And hopefully I won’t be stabbed on the way home or anything. Actually, I’m not too worried, I won’t be out too late, and it’s not too far. Plus, I have my impeccable street smarts.

Today I exercised again, and now just got back from grocery shopping. The co-op is only about 3 blocks away, so I got all I could carry. Prices are eye-popping from what I’m used to, but today I realized something important. I absolutely rule at grocery shopping. It’s true. I know it’s not the number one thing on my list to brag about, but I just have to say it. I can spot a sale an aisle away. I know what’s needed and what’s frivolous. My primal hunter/gatherer instincts were at their peak.

Yesterday I tried to sell some CDs, but the ‘indie-rock specialist’ (read: white guy) hadn’t shown up for work. My pavement CD wasn’t there either, but I ended up getting it at stupid Borders anyway. I finished going through the paper for jobs and updated my resume on my computer, but haven’t sent anything out yet. I’ll worry about it Wednesday when DSL is here. In the meantime I’m kinda enjoying my week off. Today is warm but humid, I’ll take another walk this afternoon when the sun’s supposed to come out.

So, speaking of music, Pavement was a band that released 5 albums, not counting early EP’s and singles, and all of it was excellent to very good. All 37 bonus tracks on the new reissue certainly aren’t essential, and many aren’t even very good songs, but it’s nice to have a remastered version and fancy packaging, I must admit. As I wrote a while ago, I haven’t bought much new music of late, but was downloading a fair amount and reading up on things when I had the chance. But this year marks a momentous occasion for me because I’ve decided I’m not going to buy the new R.E.M. album. Now, if you don’t know, R.E.M. was my favorite band in high school, by far. Since the tail end of sophomore year, I was pretty obsessed, and this lasted into the first couple years of college even. My email address is the name of one of their songs, for Christ’s sake. And how could I not be obsessed? When I started listening to them they had been around for 13 years, and had all these songs and records I didn’t even know about. And, to make matters more interesting, their oldest albums were the best, despite the fact that I’d never knew of their existence. They were the band that got me into other music, Pavement and the Velvet Underground, Big Star and anything else that I could find in a magazine or online that sounded interesting. Before R.E.M. music was just something that played on the radio, filled in silences while driving. Now it became something active and involving. But, like the three bands listed above, it’s always better (though sadder) to burn out than fade away. R.E.M.’s last great record came out in 1996, and their best record is still the one from 1983. The new one I’ve heard the single from a bunch of times, and did download the record and listened to maybe once. I’m sure if I forced myself I could grow to like it, become convinced that it is a secret masterpiece. But I can tell it’s not. And sounded awful the first time around. I’d much rather buy a band’s first album in 2004, a band like Rogue Wave or the Arcade Fire, than a bands 13th (or 14th) just because I used to love them. So, I’m sorry R.E.M., but I’m just going to remember blaring “Monster” out of my car speakers in the high school parking lot, and getting Murmur for Christmas 1995. Those were some good times, man.

Goodnight to the Rock 'n Roll era...

First post in a million years, not because I haven’t had the time, but because internet access is scarce. Getting DSL here next week, but in the meantime have to use AOL dialup from M’s horribly defective computer, which means even checking my email is akin to pulling off an elaborate heist scheme, one last score, which upon completion leaves me exhausted and bathed in sweat. So this I’m writing on Word, then will attempt to dial up and copy it, but I’m not sure what my odds are. At the moment I’m sitting at the desk in Our Apartment (though it stills feels like just Hers, with me visiting), next to a window what normally would give a view of nearby rooftops and a distant view of downtown Chicago, but today due to fog I can’t see more than a few blocks away.

But, much has transpired that you don’t know about. For starters, about my car, whose untimely (or, possibly, incredibly timely) passing has saddened us all. Though I had to take a weeks worth of buses, had to get up nearly an hour earlier than usual, couldn’t work any overtime my last week, and was generally in a surly mood, it did kinda work out, and rather quickly. Once benefit of working at the same insurance company that covers both your car and the senile lady who hit you is that things get done pretty fast. The claim was officially filed last week Monday, I had to call the old lady’s agent myself. Tuesday someone from my same building came to give me a small check to cover transportation, which far exceeded my one cab ride and 13 bus trips. Tuesday after work I got a ride to the towing place and cleaned out my car, salvaging the new Saturday Looks Good to Me CD and an umbrella. Wednesday the adjuster called to say my car was indeed totaled, and gave me money, which happened to be more than I was planning on selling it for, since they couldn’t tell how bad the engine was, or that the AC was broke. So, all in all, between the two checks I got exactly 9 dollars less than the price I paid for the car. Which of course doesn’t include the 1400 dollars in repairs, plus other maintenance. But, overall, it worked out ok, and my neck pain went away after a few days. So hooray for that.

So now I’m here, the move on Saturday went OK, my parents came that same morning and took some things with them, everything else barely fit in M’s car, which I think is a major accomplishment. How many of you can fit nearly all your possessions in a Hyundai? So unloaded quickly, got takeout from the great Thai place a block away, and quietly began our life of sin. Sunday we began to squeeze my possessions into nooks and crannies, right now my socks and underwear are still in a pile on the closet floor, most everything else is crammed somewhere until we get some nice bedroom furniture. Monday night M was on call, gone all night, so I assembled the extra wooden CD rack we bought (we have two, each hold 500!) and got to ‘The Great Reorganization,’ first combining all the CDs we own together (now THAT means commitment!) and then alphabetizing by artist, plus sections for soundtracks and VA/Compilations, and then arranging each artist chronologically from past to present. So between us we have about 600-700 CDs, not counting the 100 or so burned ones in my CD binder, plus some questionable tapes of hers. She has very sporadic taste in music, I’m welcoming some into my collection, like 4 belle and Sebastian albums, elliot smith’s “either/or”, the first neutral milk hotel record, and some early cat power and modest mouse that I don’t have. But, at the same time, on my newly assembled shelf, what sits between Tiger Trap and Tortoise but Mr. Justin Timberlake, and between the aforementioned Elliot Smith and the first Sonic Youth record, 1983’s ‘Confusion is Sex’, but a CD by one-hit wonders Something Corporate (‘I woke up in a car’). I did manage to convince her to get rid of about a third of her tapes and a few of the more questionable CDs. I may go sell some today, there’s apparently only one decent record store in my ‘hood, besides the awful borders which sells CDs for 19.99. I went to this record store, which sells new and used CDs and Vinyl (I now finally have access to a turntable) on Tuesday morning as it opened, in giddy, childlike anticipation of buying the Pavement “crooked rain, crooked rain” double disc reissue complete with 62-page booklet, all at a regular CD price, but of course it wasn’t in yet, it should have been in and the dude tried to call the distributor but no luck, should be in soon. Maybe it’s there now. I would’ve taken a walk there yesterday, but my knee was giving me problems, second time in a month. It just started feeling better an hour ago.

So I’ve been running lots of errands, did laundry and cleaned the apartment, getting up early when M leaves for work, yesterday I went back to sleep for a bit though. Looked through the Trib for job listings, found a couple things to highlight, but haven’t got my computer hooked up yet to print off any resumes. Yesterday with broken knee and nothing to do I felt kinda awful and bored, made dinner for M when she got home. Last night: fish and potatoes. Tonight, possibly pasta, though I haven’t decided.

Last night we went to a movie though, to an indie-cinema in The trendy neighborhood just north of downtown, which involved a 30-minute drive and finally finding a parking spot. Movie tickets were 9.50 each, which I guess isn’t that crazy. We saw “Undertow,” of which you can read a very positive review of if you click on Roger Ebert’s link to the right, I’m in no position to create one for you here. The movie was directed by David Gordon Green, who I admire very much, his last was last year’s ‘All the Real Girls,’ which I thought was the best movie of the year, hands down. You can rent it anywhere. Undertow is his third film and he’s only 29, I thought a bit of a step down from his last but still very good. Best usage of freeze frame shots I’ve ever seen in a movie, ever. Unfortunately for my girlfriend, there is a rather violent scene in the first half of the movie, which made her reluctant to open her eyes for anything the rest of the film. Her loss, though. After the movie I limped back to the car and we drove around downtown for a bit, tall buildings still amaze me, from my apartment they are too far away to gasp at. Home in time to watch the last two innings of the World Series, then to bed. Today I’ll test my knee outside in a little bit, eat lunch here and do some job hunting, I may get dragged for furniture shopping this evening, we’ll see. It’s been an interesting week.

Make all elevators smell like your sixth-grade girlfriends and boyfriends

Thursday as i was leaving work, about 6:30 and already mostly dark, I marvelled at the fact that my car seems to be acting OK, and I only had 9 days left before I no longer had to worry about it. I wished I wouldn't have spent so much time worrying about it over the past few months, and instead concentrated my time on sometime worthwhile, like helping the poor or painting by number. I left the parking lot and went around the block backwards from usual, just because I never have before. I got on the highway and headed home. Traffic was moderate, so after the second stoplight on hwy 51, it took a while for the line to get going again. I crossed the intersection and had to brake slightly.

the next 5 seconds:
Though when i was at the stoplight earlier there was no one behind me, i looked in my rearview mirror as i was braking and saw a car approaching fast. I though, "Gee Whiz, that car is going to have to brake pretty hard, it looks like it's going pretty fast. I surely hope that it doesn't bump me slightly." Sometimes while driving I marvel at how much trust of strangers it requires. You trust that people are going to use their turn signals and check their blind spots. You also trust that when a car approaches you from behind, it will brake, instead of hitting you at full speed, pushing you for a ways before veering off to the left, finally coming to a stop 50 yards ahead. My car was spun to the right, nearly falling into the ditch, before the engine died.

I thought that I was pushed into the vehicle ahead of me, but it turns out we were the only two cars involved, with everyone ahead of me driving off. I tried to start my car to move it out of the road, but it wouldn't start. A woman thrust her cell phone in my face, where I told an unknown voice that I didn't think i was hurt but didn't know about the other person. Police came quick, followed by paramedics who checked on the other driver, who got a ticket, who I found out the next day was a 70 yr old woman who had also been in an accident early that day. i knew she drove a toyota, because the nameplate was lying on the road by my car. My car, in addition to not starting, was destroyed in the back, everything was pushed up and dented all the way around both sides, and the bumper was ripped into a few pieces scattered all over the highway, along with random pieces of brakelight glass and metal from wherever. It also looked like the back springs were broken, and the body was resting on the rear wheels. Over the next hour or so i froze myself standing outside, talked to a cop, talked to a tow truck driver who took my car away to sit somewhere while the insurance business was sorted out. I never talked to the lady who hit me, but the cop gave me her name and address, and luckily she has the same insurance company as i do. The tow driver and the cop both said they couldn't give me a ride, because the other side of town was outside their areas, or some shite, so the friendly cop told me to walk to the nearest gas station and call a cab. I did, and the cab ride cost 2 dollars more than i had in my wallet, so i had to run into my house and find some loose change. I talked to my girl, my mom, and my insurance company, and went to bed. Yesterday I woke up at 530 at took the 615 bus, dropping me off a 15 minute walk from work, got there at 715. Talked to more insurance at work, they all told me that they couldn't really do anything for me since i only had liability coverage, and they had to wait for the other lady to file a claim, which she hadn't done. When i got home from work, after an hour bus ride, I called the old lady and told her to contact them or I'd beat the fuck out of her (just kidding). Yesterday my neck and shoulders started hurting, and it's hard to lie comfortably. Today i walked to the nearest grocery store in the rain and bought food to last me for another week and some of those instant heating pads, which aren't really doing anything so far. I have to catch another series of buses tonight, all in the name of working for 2.5 hours at the parking ramp. Hopefully monday I can get things more straightened out, someone needs to look at my car and tell me it's totalled, and give me a big check.

Next week also I had to train my replacement at work, which will be, ha ha, a pain in the neck I'm sure. Last wednesday all the underwriters took me to lunch, where i had a chicken chorizo enchalada, which was great. Yesterday I absentee voted, after a lot of deliberation I decided to go for Kerry. This wednesday I'm supposed to go to some happy hour thing after work, which will be a lot more fun now that I don't have to drive myself home. Also, don't have to worry about gas prices for a week! hooray! Next weekend i'm moving to chicago, and hopefully can fit everything into M's car, otherwise we'll put stuff we can't fit and stuff that was supposed to go to my parents, along with my car, in storage at some friend's house for the time being.

I've gotta go make lunch now, but in the meantime here's a very short story by Dave Eggers. He's one of a few males that I have or have had a very intense admiration for, not in a man-crush, sexual way, but more in a 'i wish he was my big brother' kind of way, or first cousin or uncle maybe. I'm not sure if this is a common thing, but I remember thinking that it would be the coolest if, say, my big brother Jack White could teach me how to play guitar, and let me fool around on his equipment, and I've learned how to play 'moonage daydream' by David Bowie in a very bratty garage-rock way (for real) and would he like to here it. I borrow Spike Jonze's movie camera and uncle michael chabon would edit my stories. And when my car was smashed on the highway, I'd call one of them to come pick me up.

The Punch in the Face game

Yesterday I saw a Ford Truck commercial featuring Toby Keith, who in the commercial actually shouted the phrase: "Bring it on!" Upon seeing it I immediately thought up a new game for you to play with all of your friends. It's called the Punch in the Face game, and very simple, yet not as easy as you think.

All you have to do is make a list of the 5 people that you'd most like to punch in the face without any consequences. They could be famous people or people you personally know.

There's only a couple additional rules.
1. You can't put George W. Bush on your list, because everyone's going to do that. It's like on wheel of fortune, for the final puzzle, they now automatically give everyone the first five letters, because everyone always picked them. So that one's a given. You are, however, free to imagine punching W in the face anyway. Go ahead.
2. None of the people on the list can be female, because hitting girls is not cool, dude. However, if you yourself are a chick, feel free. But, remember, we are talking punches here, not limp-wristed slaps.

That's it, post yr list in the comments section. The best part about the Punch in the face game is that everybody wins! Good Luck!

Here's my List:
1. Arnold Schwarzenegger
2. Toby Keith
3. Warren Sapp
4. Jimmy Fallon
5. Ryan Seacrest

Like depressing things? Read on, friends!

My first post in over two weeks. I disappear for a bit and the public goes berserk; I receive constant emails and phone calls, fruit baskets and gift certificates for Applebee's, offers of cash and valuable gems. Finally, I emerge from my silence and give the screaming masses what they want: a disarmingly personal insight into my life without any strings attached, to be read by friends, acquaintances, and people I've never met.

Most of my posts, and most bloggy-type post in general, always go like this: today i didn't do much exciting, work, chores, etc, blah blah blah for 400 words later. Well, i've got plenty of material from the past 17 days, but most of it is too depressing for me to go into, since this is surely being read primarily for comedic purposes. So instead of wasting the past couple weeks writing about daily tragedies, I will instead condense everything into one small grammatically-unsound paragraph of concentrated grief. Here goes:

...milwaukee hospital room crowded with me and the family, no other visitors, prognosis changes everyday -months-weeks-days and suddenly my girlfriend's mother, who she literally talks to everyday of her life, dies on sunday night, sept 26, I'm in the room the whole time while her family loses it and i'm not sure if i should stay or go, despite a quick coma the family talks to her constantly for the last day, monica's dad cries more in an hour than i've seen my dad cry in my entire life, I do house chores and yard work, miss work every day but tuesday the next week, my only suit (sportcoat actually) isn't very somber but i'm a pallbearer anyway on the day i was planning on proposing (but cant think about that, much too guilty), stay with the family an entire week, my girlfriend pushes me out of her bed whenever she hears footsteps. we run depressing errands during the day and do forced fun activities (museum, zoo, 3-D creature from the black lagoon at the theatre) at night/late afternoons. I go back to work the next week and have mountains of stuff to catch up on, I tell my boss my last day is oct. 22, i have occasional brief but devastating panic attacks caused by thinking about death, friday she visits and we have a bed picnic (wine, multiple cheeses, fruit and baked fish) and it is fantastic, saturday my left leg isn't able to straighten for whatever reason in the morning, I hobble around the farmer's market using one crutch, afternoon i feel better, visit a friend and then we go out to eat (applebees, using a 30 dollar gift card from some of MY coworkers (thanks a million, people i'll never see again after two weeks)), and then go to a corn maze outside of town, which is highly recommended. today we stayed in bed til noon, our one year anniversary, and she leaves, the ring still sits in my desk drawer and i don't think she's ready for it yet. The plastic shower head in my bathroom broke today, just snapped off, I told my constantly stoned roommate (who i hate hate hate so much) and he doesn't seem to care, i've got at least 13 showers left to take, maybe i can rig it for that long...

There's more to write and some will creep out in the next couple weeks, though i think i'm losing DSL for real on friday or so. Otherwise, thanks to those who did send me a note or message of concern, sorry i didn't reply, I just didn't really feel like getting into it again. I'm pretty much ok now, mostly just worried about M. Things being normal seem a long way off.