The South Takes What the North Delivers

900 miles in a car (the 2008 Dodge Avenger at 30 mpg) plus a flight to and back from the coast isn't exactly enviro-friendly, especially after the recent deluge of guilt-creating documentaries I've been watching, but I don't care, I had a great time.

Let's crunch some numbers:

24,5: Amount of bottled beers and bottles of wine, respectively, that were collectively consumed in hotel rooms across the CA coast. Since most days we were so active we had no desire or energy to be out after dinner, San Francisco excepted, we'd typically plan the next day, watch bad cable TV, and drink on the bed during this time. We did stop at a winery at one point, and felt no shame in consuming more than one fancy (read: over $15) bottle of wine using the cheap plastic cups wrapped in plastic in hotel rooms. Also, we didn't have a bottle opener until the end, so most beers were opened using drawer handles and deadbolt locks (with occasionally messy results).

29: Approximate number of 200 mg ibuprofen tablets taken by me. Considering that we probably walked close to two marathons in total, I was surprised that I was able to walk at all after the first day, let alone complete a couple surprisingly difficult hikes. This was a pleasant surprise all around.

2: The number of times we were caught in the rain and soaked to the bone in San Diego on Friday. San Diego! I think it rains like eight days a year there. I was unimpressed by the city in general; downtown is nothing special and the beach is fine but only if yr a surfer. One Positive: Traffic is not a problem.

7: Meals eaten by me that involved fish or seafood. A whole crab, salmon, scallops at a Chinese place, fish tacos (twice), shrimp/scallops with pasta, and sushi. The crab was the only thing which I knew to be fresh, but since I was near water I thought I should be eating seafood.

301: Photographs taken.

42: Price, in dollars, of the cheapest hotel we stayed in, The Silver Surf Motel just south of Hearst Castle in San Simeon. It was also the only one with an indoor pool and hottub. We kept things pretty inexpensive.

2: Parts of my body that are sunburned. My left and right calves only, since this was the only area I forgot to put sunscreen on on Saturday, in which we left SD and drove east to the Anza-Borrego Desert State Park. This was the only day I wore shorts the whole trip, and maybe only the second day I wore sunscreen.

3: Number of Desert Bighorn Sheep, an endangered species, spotted in the desert.

8.5: Hours spent at Disneyland. Not my idea.

8: Approximate hours spent waiting in lines at Disneyland. The worst culprit was the Roger Rabbit ride in Toontown. (I can't believe I typed that sentence). Since Disneyland sucks, we basically did everything M wanted to do by 1 pm, so the rest of the afternoon was going on the second-tier attractions and a couple things a second time. The Roger Rabbit ride looked horrible, but we got in line anyway, stuck between literally 6 screaming kids aged 5 and under and their inadequate parents. Unlike most lines in the park, this one moved incredibly slow, and it took us nearly an hour to get to the front. Then, while about 8 people away from getting it over with, the ride broke down, and a 20-30 minute delay was announced. We didn't stick around, and left Toontown cursing.

1,239: Amount of 'Whoas" and "Wows" spoken by us, mostly in the drive from SF to the end of the Big Sur area. Every corner on Highway 1 seemed to bring postcard views. I think we probably pulled over to take pictures about 25 times as well. Hiking in the Julia Pfeiffer Burns State park contributed a lot of ecstatic noises as well.

All in all, a great trip, we did a lot and saw everything we wanted to. Probably should have spent more time north and less south, but whatever. This kind of trip was the kind I like, I can lay on the beach and do nothing when I'm old and tired.

Other nice thing about vacation was not being woken up by Kim Gordon three times a night. She's at my parents house until they visit on Saturday, so I'm going to plan on enjoy not being bothered the next two nights.

*First picture is me on Alcatraz with SF behind. This was the least hideous picture of me in the bunch, I think. What you don't know is that I'm naked from the waist down. In the picture. And also, right now.

The NFL Draft Preview! or, I am the total package!

(l,r: Calvin Johnson, Calvin Johnson)

The NFL Draft is completely ridiculous. Not to say that last year when I had cable I didn't watch nearly the entire two-day event. But I've decided it is popular, or at least attracts a lot of attention in the press, for the following reasons:

1. Biggest Football weekend between the Super Bowl and the start of the next season. In fact, the ONLY football weekend between the Super Bowl and the start of preseason/training camp, which is interesting only in finding out which assholes are holding out or reporting late.
2. Hope. No matter how bad your team is, you have a chance to grab the next All-Time Great Player. Odds are slim (I'd say one third of all first round picks are complete busts, and another third merely ordinary), but the fact that there is a chance makes this the best day of the year if you are a Lions or Browns fan. Save your cynicism for every other day.
3. Sports pundits can pretend they know something we don't. Usually everyone on ESPN or sports radio babbles their own opinions that are no more well-informed than the average sports fan. But leading up to the draft they can enlighten us with details of a Division 1-AA player's 40 time and vertical jumps. I think this keeps them from killing themselves for another year.

It's interesting to think that for some of the young athletes getting picked, this weekend it'll be the highlight of their lives. Most won't amount to much, and they'll never be as highly regarded as they were one day at the end of April. Regardless, they will all (at least early rounders) be very rich.

***

Ignore the above lazy writing, what I really want to know is what percentage of the population realized the Calvin Johnson connection early last fall. I'm not bragging here, but simply confessing that when anyone on TV or otherwise talked about the Georgia Tech receiver I got a off-key baritone voice stuck in my head. It's a curse, really, having so much knowledge.

The reason this seems important to me is that for the most part, old chums excluded, most of my Chicago friends fall into one of two camps: sports or arts. As in, I have people that I invited to my fantasy baseball league, and I have people that I go see shows with and borrow books from. These two groups never meet each other, which is weird, since both seem to have heavy drinking in common. This is not to say people in one category have no interest in the other, it's just that they do one thing well and may fall short of the other, like when Bill Simmons tries to recommend music (yikes.) The issue for me, sitting alone in the small intersection of this particular Venn diagram, is that if I talk about music or film with The Sports People, or vice versa, is that I can come across as a condescending jerk. Perhaps because I am, I suppose, but why should I be punished for my unquenchable thirst for knowledge?

I'm kidding. I'm just puzzled why these two categories seem so exclusive from each other. I would think at least that sports is an easier subject to get into, due to the current flood of information across cable and the web, not to mention the perpetual coverage in newspapers going back forever; it's not as if anyone was putting out homemade sports-themed fanzines as a kid. Also, with sports you have more of a multi-generational thing, where a father can educate and pass along his routing interests to the son. (I guess you can have the same thing with arts, particularly literature, but it much more common for a kid to listen to music that his parent's don't understand, right? And most people would rather be taken to a baseball game than to a concert by their parents.). My use of the term 'arts' implies some sort of education, but, literature aside, I'm not really sure if that's the case. (I've probably learned more about film from Roger Ebert than from film classes in college). I do suppose you should enjoy reading though, as there never will be an ESPN for this sort of thing.

I give up, this is going nowhere. Indulge me and give me your thoughts.

Audi 5000

Thanks to all of you who offered California mixtape suggestions.

I didn't actually use any of them, though, due mostly to laziness. 'California #2' was created using whatever songs I had on my hard drive, most of which had nothing to do with the Golden State but seemed suitable for driving. Some of your collective choices were very inspired, though, so give yourself a pat on the back.

Those of you who suggested the Red Hot Chili Peppers are banned from the blog for one week.

Coming next week: Nothing!

Coming the week after that: Trip wrap-up (Will it be self-deprecating? Tune in and find out!) and possible NFL draft "preview."

Props Vol. 4

"Props!" is a reoccurring feature on this site that will basically consist of a short list of things that are cool, things that are awesome, things that are recommended, and things that rule. I, therefore, will be giving mad "props" to everything on the list.

1. Saturday Looks Good To Me. I've written about this band many times before, but mostly in terms of 'I saw them for the Xth time and it was awesome' or 'I can believe they aren't more popular.' Well, now I've decided I don't want them to be more popular. I want them to stay the same. I want to not have to worry about getting into their shows, and not worry about having room to dance about. I like buying limited run records directly from the bandleader, and not be afraid to talk to him. I like the people I meet at their shows, and I like that I never get tired of them. I like their songs, and if the rest of the world doesn't, that's their problem.

2. Seared Shrimp. Growing up in a very small town meant any seafood I'd eat at home would be that which our family caught ourselves, meaning fried fish and fried fish only, with occasionally deep-fried and beer-battered fish and sometimes, if we were lucky, frozen breaded shrimp, also deep fried. I began making salmon and tilapia a few years ago, but largely shied away from the more expensive seafood, fearing I'd fuck it up and waste a bunch of money. Well, seared shrimp is easy as balls, aside from the hassle of peeling them. Recipe here. Serve with pasta.

3. Over the air HDTV. My dependable ten-year-old 20" TV died during the NFL playoffs, and I did some research and bought an LCD HDTV two days later. While my choice of TV may be debatable (A few things disappoint me), the fact that I have watched the rest of the playoffs, many many many college basketball games, the Office, and fucking alligators eating antelopes on PBS in High Def all using a $10 cheap antenna is fricking sweet. I may cave and get cable next fall (Damn you, Big Ten Network!), but I said that last summer as well. Granted, having to occasionally get off the couch to adjust rabbit ears is akin to powering your car with your feet, Flintstones-style.

4. Brick. While Netflix has mostly afforded me the luxury of catching up on TV-shows on DVD (Fucking THE WIRE is as good as they say and deserves its own mention), it also has allowed me the chance to watch movies that I ordinarily wouldn't have the time or energy to seek out from a video store. I've caught up on a few old classics and have been unafraid to test out movies I haven't heard too much about. I had heard relatively little about Brick, other that it was described as a neo-noir and generally got positive reviews. I picked a night spent alone to watch it, and I was so impressed that I watched all of the DVD special features and then started the movie over again with director's commentary turned on. I don't want to give much away, not that the plot is the most important thing (and is pretty confusing at first), but it is basically The Maltese Falcon set in a high school, complete with antiquated gumshoe slang and all the stock characters from the genre. I also have decided that Joseph Gordon-Levitt is the best actor around who is younger than me.

5. Proxy Servers. My previous complaints about work internet filters have finally been answered, thanks to websites that access forbidden websites for me. No youtube, but at least I can check daily the roster of The Racing Sausages, my head-to-head fantasy baseball team, currently in first place after one week.

6. Children of Men. Another movie. This one just came out on DVD as well, and I have purchased and watched already. But the real fireworks came when I saw this in a theater a couple months ago. I don't usually go for the bleak, post-apocalyptic thing, but this one completely held my attention for nearly two hours, with some moments so intense (not to mention technically amazing and real-feeling) that I nearly forgot to breathe. Probably best on decent home theatre set-up (the DVD looked good but I don't have any sound system), but definitely worth checking out. Watchability factor is high as well, due to the fact that the movie doesn't hit you over the head with exposition, and prefers to use background imagery to fill in the backstory. I wouldn't classify it as an 'ACTION' movie, but if it were it would be the smartest action movie I've ever seen, and probably was my most satisfying trip to the movie theater in my lifetime.

7. A Spicy Falafel Sandwich and a Large Lentil Soup from Sultan's Market, Chicago. Once again, the small-town factor affects culinary matters, as middle eastern food is something I completely ignored until the last few years. I did go a few times to the mideast restaurant on 55th street (I think) in Hyde Park when I lived there, but nothing compares to having an insanely cheap place (the above costs $6 total) for take-out within a couple blocks from my apartment. My stomach did briefly protest to the strange new combinations of ingredients, not to mention eating an entire meal without any meat that didn't involve pasta, but the taming power of hummus has prevailed.

8. Sexy Librarians. I don't think any explanation is necessary, though I will say that some people's idea of a S.L is to stick a Playboy Playmate in cat-eye glasses. This is not what I have in mind. While the term does refer to particular aesthetic features, ideally it would involve a high level of literacy as well, and I'd like to think I can beat at least a vast majority of Playmates at Scrabble.

We got Deserts, We got Trees, We got the Hills of Beverly

We're going to California on Saturday for vacation, driving from SF to SD in a hopefully satisfactory rental car. The weather is not going to be as nice as I had hoped; I picture CA, especially the southern half, as some sort of tropical paradise, so I was shocked to learn the avg temp for LA is only in the low to mid 70s, and for some reason SD is even cooler, despite the fact that it is further south. I'll probably go to the beach anyway.

Aside from the first two nights, no hotel reservations are being made and no events are firmly scheduled. We will be spontaneous and play it by ear. Most likely we'll take 3 days to drive from SF to LA, stopping at every chance we get.

Here's where you come in: since there will be a lot of time spent in a rental car, I am making some mix CD's. Last night I finished 'California #1,' which consists of both band/artists from the state and songs about it. I realized that I don't actually have a ton of music from the state. I downloaded some West Coast hiphop and that song from the beginning of the O.C., and had no trouble making a CD, but aside from Pavement and Deerhoof I don't have too much. East Coast rap is so much better!

I didn't save or printout the tracklist, but here's what I have from memory:
California - Phantom Planet (the OC song)
California Dreamin - The Mamas and the Papas
California Love - 2pac
Gin and Juice - Snoop Diggidy Doggy Dogg
Ain't Nothin but a G Thing - Dr. Dre
Going to California - Led Zeppelin
Some Weezer Song
A few pavement Songs
a deerhoof song
a grandaddy song
I get around - Beach Boys
Move to LA - Art Brut
Down South, Ten Hours, I-5 - All Girl Summer Fun Band
Expressway to Yr Skull - Sonic Youth (no idea if this song is about CA, but it is mentioned in the first line, plus it is a good album closer).

There were 5 or 6 other songs too, all really clever ones I'm sure, but I can't remember any at the moment.

Obviously I already have the obvious choices, but I'm going to make another CA themed CD and need some ideas. Death Cab is not allowed, this is for driving, after all. And whoever suggests 'Hotel California' is banned from the blog. So far all I have that isn't on the first CD is the Flying Burrito Bros. Oh, and the Minutemen, too, I just thought of that. I think I need some L.A. punk music but I'm actually not sure where to start there. Please leave your suggestions in the comments, along with any tips for things to do and places to go along the way.