I AM A FRIEND TO ALL THE PEOPLES OF THE WORLD!

Last Thursday after our weekly work happy hour, which I've dubbed THE BOMB SQUAD (don't ask), I made what I believe was a brief error in judgment. We were at the bar from 5:30 to 11:30, drinking slowly and steadily. Afterwards I walked six blocks to catch the N--- Avenue bus which would take me home. Unfortunately a bus drove past just before I got there, so I had to wait. I waited and waited, alone at the bus stop, with no oncoming bus in sight. I was there maybe 20 minutes, maybe 15, maybe just 10. My concept of time was distorted because my iPod battery was dead, so I was stuck listening to traffic. I thought briefly about hailing a cab, but I'm kinda cheap and had already dropped a Jackson on cheap beers and snacks.

Out of the black a car, mid-size sedan, not too old, pulls up to the curb. I am the only one there. The driver rolls down his passenger side window and says, "Are you waiting for the bus?"

I say, "Yeah."

"Where you going?" asks the driver.

"Uh, just down to D--- Ave, just a mile or so down the road," I say. I actually had to go a few blocks further.

"I'll take you there for two dollars," he says.

Sometimes when you make a decision you have plenty of time to think about it. You can weigh the pros and cons, make lists and check them twice if not three times, and generally have the patience to feel comfortable with your decision.

This was not one of those times. I made my decision in about two seconds, with a brain that was busy dealing with the effects of 8 to 10 beers.

Thought process = "Boy, I am tired of waiting for the bus which I still don't see. I wonder how much longer I'd have to wait. I should get home, I'm probably already in trouble for being home so late. What's the worst that could happen if I get into a car with a strange man? Robbed? Whatever, I don't even have much cash. Plus, I'm not one of those people who lives in fear, right? Not even if the driver of the car is black... Oops, was that racist? I am a racist for thinking that? If I decline this ride does that mean I'm racist? Am I a bigot? No, of course not. I am color-blind. I am a friend to all races."

"Sure," I say. Ha, would a racist say that? No way!

So I get in the car. The driver speeds off.

Immediately I regret the decision. This guy is going to take a sharp right turn into an alley and rob me and beat me up and leave me for dead. Or there could be another dude in the backseat that I never saw who's going to strangle me from behind. I check the passenger side door; it is locked. Maybe this dude has the car rigged so I won't be able to get out. You should know that I would have been just as spooked if the driver was white, or latino, or asian, or whatever. ME = Not a Racist.

The driver, who never tells me his name, immediately begins a tale of woe, about how he's from Atlanta and came up here, but his girlfriend left him and now he doesn't have any MONEY to get home, and he's trying to figure shit out but things are ROUGH. Then his car beeps, as in the 'low fuel' beep, and he says, "Oh, hang in there, baby, I'm going to take care of you real soon." There was a hip-hop CD on the stereo which sounded good at the time, but I never got the nerve to ask who it was. I was busy agreeing with him that his story was sad. "Aw, shit, that's cold, dude."

The driver asks me, "You been drinking tonight? You drunk?" which I took to mean as "How easy is it going to be for me to rob you?"

"A little bit," I say. "Just a few, after work." Gulp.

We get to the major intersection where I had been planning the drop off (not next to my apartment, lots of witnesses). I say, "Pull over right here, man." He asks if he should turn down a street and take me to my door, but I tell him, no, no, I'm right here, that's cool. He stops the car, I open the door, put one foot outside, then give him five bucks. He asks for two more, and I say, "You said two dollars, man. Five's a whole lot better than two." I get out, shut the door, and walk on my merry way. THE END. Nothing bad happens. I am alive. Hurray! And certainly have no racial biases.