Catastrophe

I am not a cat person. I am a dog person. Simple as that. I'm not anti-cat. I'm not a cat-hater, I just prefer dogs. I don't need to go into reasons why, it is pretty obvious. You can't argue one way or another, and like with religion or politics, conversions are very rare. I'm a dog person.

So, we might get a cat. Our new apartment, being old and whatnot, allows cats but not dogs, and somewhere along the line M got the idea that we needed to have a cat. Or, as she says, a kitty. 'Can we get a kitty?' is the new question of the day, taking various alternate forms such as 'Either we get a kitty or I'll buy this $200 coffee maker, which is it?'. Recently this has turned into a constant barrage of feline-related discussions, and it is almost inevitable that soon enough everything I own will be covered in cat hair.

My family had a cat when I was growing up. It was named Pepper, and was well-behaved (didn't urinate on random things, didn't claw up furniture or do anything else that cats do that I don't even know about) but kind of a jerk (hated new people, didn't like to be petted, hid in the basement for days, and resented everyone when we got a puppy after a few years of becoming bored with the cat). I really don't want a cat like that. The cat that I'm looking for, if I have to have one, is one who behaves like the best roommate I've ever had. They should be independent enough to be able to do their own things, sometimes I may not see them all day. But when we do hang out, it should always be a blast. Also, they should be neat and not ever get pissed off. And never wake me up by licking my face. And not ask me for money (or catnip, or whatever).

If I have to share my apartment with a cat, I'm not going to become a cat person. I am making a vow here. I'm not going to start cooing about how cute it is, or waste valuable blog real estate telling you how fucking 'pwecious' it is, or post little pictures of it being adorable with horrible captions.