"Do the interns get glocks?" "No, they all share one."

The most boring New Years Eve ever ended with me going to bed, sober, at 12:30, the only human interaction coming from drunken phone calls from the MPLS crew and a series of calls from M. The next day I had planned a spectacular yet low-key birthday celebration for my post-call domestic partner, involving take-out, cake, flowers, a crazy-expensive bottle of champagne, and Garden State on DVD. These plans were ruined by M's father and sister, who decided among themselves to show up, drink more than their fair share of champagne, and claim the roses I bought as roses I bought on their behalf. I was reduced to getting drinks, and being everyone's butler, including running down to the first floor to buy some diet coke out of the machine, because the half-dozen beverages in my refrigerator did not include soda. My lone moment of triumph came near the end of their visit, when the scrabble game we were playing turned suddenly in my favor ('stanza' with a triple letter on the 'z' plus double word score, 68 points) and our guests were left to sulk with their non-victories.

Sunday I finally got to see "The Life Aquatic," in a very ill-maintained downtown theatre. I had high expectations that were not met, though there were plenty of good moments (early David Bowie in Portuguese, unpaid interns, dolphins with cameras strapped to their heads) and the film is worth seeing on the big screen (and you better hurray, cuz poor box office means it won't be around for long). But, overall, the worst Wes Anderson movie to date. I'll see it again if it comes to the cheap theatre in a couple months, and get the DVD, but I'm not foaming at the mouth about it.

Now I have a college football party to make an appearance at tonight, and then tomorrow is my interview, which has been moved to 11 am I guess. I read/skimmed an entire book about 'how to have the best goddamn interview of your life' last night but am reluctant to make any notes or think of answers in advance. I've decided I will simply tell them I am the best person for the job and not hiring me would be the biggest mistake of their petty insignificant lives. Then I will emit a stream of tobacco juice into a nearby spittoon, which will land with a puncuating 'ping.'