You can't deal with my infinite nature, can you?

'I ♥ Huckabees' is a fantastic movie, way better than I was expecting, saw it for an incredible three dollars Sunday at the University theatre. Very interesting mix of low brow physical comedy, mid-brow social commentary, and high-brow philosophical talk, and I laughed more than any movie I've seen in a year. I'm looking forward to watching it again already. Oddly enough, afterwards it sent me into a bit of a downward spiral and gave me the incredible urge to curl up on my living room floor and not move for at least 57 hours, mostly because I've been mired in my own existential crisis lately, which began last Monday, on my first day of work.

So I work in a big building at a large multinational company. There are computer screens in the elevator, which show daily headlines and fun facts. Today on the ride up the computer looked like it was rebooting or something, but everyone still stared at it. I work in a small division of a hundred people or so, we make no mention of the larger giant company when conducting our business, but we for some reason use about six other company names for whatever we are doing. We have Windows 98 on our computers, and no other software any newer than that, except for our bug-filled and insanely complex in-house insurance application. I had to do an orientation session via webcast, which taught me that everything is simple for new employees when they type their password into this special website, but of course I have no gotten a password, and their seems to be no record of my existence, and I'm concerned that I will not get paid. My supervisor talks to me for about 30 seconds per day, save for Friday, when I went into her office and complained about how my training was going poorly. Apparently I am being trained for five jobs at once, none of which are the job I was applying for, and by 'trained' I mean someone talking to me for 45 minutes about how I'm supposed to do 76876 different things, all of which are exceptions to the basic 298357 rules, but after awhile I'll memorize everything magically. Otherwise last week I worked relentlessly on a special project, (including making a template at home), basically because I had nothing else to do. This week my training schedule has dissolved to vague suggestions, and I spent the whole day today working on a spreadsheet while waiting for the person who was supposed to train me to finish what they were doing, which never happened. Tomorrow I will have nothing to do to waste time. Any knowledge I gain seems to be from my own observation, which any 'instruction' is given to me like I've been working in the next cubicle for the past 6 years. This week has gone slightly better than the night-sweat producing trauma of last week, but I still can't seem to picture working there beyond a couple days at a time. I am learning the difference between a mortgage bankers bond and a mortgage impairment policy and a mortgage originators policy, which I stupidly did not know on my first minute of work.

There are things I like about the building and the commute and working downtown, but I'll save them for later. Right now I just wanted to vent a bit. Maybe I'll eventually come around and love the 'job' and everything will fall into place, but not today.