My Ideal Occupations, by age.
Age 0: Breast Inspector
Age 1: Drool Manufacturer
Age 2: Talk Show Host
Age 3: Candy Inspector
Age 4: Candy Inspector
Age 5: Candy Inspector
Age 6: Entomologist/Rock Star
Age 7: Undercover Police Officer/Football Player
Age 8: Scientist/Football Player/Basketball Player/Baseball Player
Age 9: Geologist/Basketball Player
Age 10: Vice President of the United States
Age 11: Chemist/Writer
Age 12: Mathematician/Writer
Age 13: Mathematician/Tae Kwon Do Instructor
Age 14: Big Game Hunter/Mathematician
Age 15: Computer Programmer
Age 16: Computer Programmer/Professional Masturbator
Age 17: Computer Programmer/Bearded Hermit
Age 18: Computer Programmer/Jewel Thief
Age 19: Breast Inspector/Alcohol Taster/Cabana Boy
Age 20: Rock Critic
Age 21: Film Director/Marijuana Inspector
Age 22: Screenwriter
Age 23: Alcoholic Novelist
Age 24: Novelist/Record Store Owner
Age 25: Pop Culture Commentator/"House-husband"
2 comments:
n, don't sell out for the job of your dreams...
instead of "house-husband" you could become a domestic god, manufacturing wonderful italian delicacies a la under the tuscan sun, wearing all black (or ideally, linen pants, long hair and no shirt) as you brood by day and make wild love to the lovely m. all night. then, when you land a modest but promising journalist job which launches you into the work force but working for a charming-but-arrogant-hugh-grant-type boss who just wants to sleep with you and doesn't recognize your true potential, you spin out of control into a wild alcoholic binge, from which you conveniently recover smartly enough to write a fascinating novel/screenplay about it. hopefully this will also get you a guest slot with mo rocca on some end-of-the-year vh1 special.
Hmmm... Why does every piece of career advice I receive always involve Hugh Grant, or a Hugh Grant type, wanting to sleep with me? Don't you people know that there would be way too much boyish charm in that cocktail?
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