Turn me down

Someone told me last winter, when I was last unemployed and looking for work, that she and her roommates would paste all of the rejection letters they received on the wall, and would admire the growing square footage. This is a mildly interesting idea, I admit. Unfortunately, though I would currently received great joy by plastering our unadorned walls with "Dear Applicant" form letters, so far I have received exactly zero. I'm not sure why. I'm sure this seems like a ridiculous thing to complain about; no one likes getting a rejection letter. No one likes getting rejected.

And I've been rejected once or twice in my life, believe me. Twice, actually, by girls. One said she had a boyfriend and the other, in retrospect, was surely a raging lesbo.

But my point is that the only thing worse than getting rejected is getting complete silence. All of these cover letter/resume one-two punches I've let fly, and I have nothing to show for it, besides the one cock-tease phone call. I want closure here. I'd love nothing more than a letter, or even an email, saying: "We got your resume, you are hopelessly unqualified for the position, best of luck surviving flu season without health insurance. Sincerely, Giant Company." Instead: Did these places even get my resume? Did I send it to the wrong address, or did an eager HR bottom-feeder, after seeing my cover letter, jump so high in exultation of my existence that he hit his head on a ceiling fan, showering my resume with his blood, and now lies in a endless coma, motionless except occassionally muttering the phrase 'Communication Arts with Film and Television Emphasis' over and over in his voice like death??? I may never know.