Sharp Dressed Man

I'm still a bit in shock from the ill-fated Badger game on Saturday, so please excuse me. That set the tone for the weekend, a bit depressing, sunday wasn't much better, too much TV (football, simpsons, arrested development) and not enough book-learnin' or activity. Monday we went to the Field Museum, it was a free admission day, saw a fucking tyrannosaurus rex. Or its bones anyway, which were still cool enough to get my 9-year old self excited. Everything else was a bit downhill; I kept wanting to elbow the million schoolchildren in the head for running around being obnoxious in the egyptian pyramid.

Later Monday we went to the Quadrangle Club, for some dinner for some doctor who did something awesome. I don't know, there were a few speeches but I didn't really pay attention. I concentrated all my energies on trying to look fancy. This place was the fanciest place ever, billiards, wood-paneling, and black waiters everywhere. Probably cigars and leather chairs in a room I didn't see. An open bar, I had a gin and tonic because I couldn't think of anything else to order, and about 3 glasses of wine. We had to sit at a table with 6 other people, 5 doctors and 1 wife of a doctor. The guy sitting next to me gave me unsolicited job advice. I was concentrating on which fork to use. Food was good but not mind-blowing, there were lumps in the mashed potatoes, people! But I still fantasized about being a member ("I'll be at the Club, dear, don't wait up") but I figure in order to do so I'd have to become a giant asshole. C'est la vie.

And then speaking of fish out of water situations, yesterday I spent nearly five hours at a mall. Five hours!!! Usually when I walk into one of those places, I get a pounding headache somewhere between Spencer Gifts and Cinnabuns, but yesterday I was prepared with a dozen advil. Plus, I think it helped that the mall was an outdoor thing, despite having the content of a mall. Which meant I'd shiver between stores, and then walk in and feel incredibly warm. So you'd have to move fast, to achieve some sort of equilibrium. But, my real reason for being extra determined to postpone my inevitable aneurysm was because I had a mission: to buy my girlfriend some "hot" clothes. Don't get me wrong, I think she dresses fine. But I'm not one of those guys who want their ladies to cover it all up in public, taliban-style. To paraphrase ZZTop, as I am often known to do, "It is not only that she has legs, but she must also know how to use them." She does have more skirts than the average girl, I'd say, but most of these come well below the knee, and a lot are classified as "work" clothes, meaning she won't wear them otherwise, due to their unpleasant associations. So because of this, and because I accidentally watched an episode of The O.C. recently, I had miniskirts on the brain, and refused to be discouraged by the fact that it is November, and most stores were more prominently displaying their parkas and wool-lined snow pants. I did get to see several modeled for me, the best of which were way out of my price range and all of which were thick and winterized yet still did the trick. Unfortunately, at this time, none were purchased, though I did wind up getting my Christmas present, a wool peacoat from J. Crew, six weeks early. I don't know how that happened. I'm resolved, come spring, to go on another, more sucessful, shopping spree, purchasing everything possible that uses less than a square yard of material.

Today is Wednesday which meant continental breakfast downstairs, M actually has to work today so I'm going to apply to every job I can this afternoon. I discovered through conversation this morning that I'm actually forbidden to take a walk south of 60th street, in fear that I'll be mugged, killed, or raped (!?). I'm not sure how I feel about being forbidden to do anything, especially something like: Walk four blocks south, everything's A-OK; Walk five blocks south, get badly beaten at one in the afternoon. I don't think things are really that bad here, and I'm not sure if I can muster fear of anything when it's still light outside. She's just afraid of everything, I think.

I think if you eat this, you pretty much don't give a shit about anything.