Most Common Lies or Embellishments found on Resumes

1. Star of hit NBC sitcom "Daddio," 2001-2002
2. Proficient player of the zither.
3. Touched Oprah's boob once in an elevator, 1996.
4. Inventor of the sex swing.
5. Classically trained... to rock your fucking socks off, 1988.
6. Played "Uncharismatic Jared" in Subway commercials, 2002-present