Note:

Dead to me:Those who've been invited to the HI-COOL blog but haven't contributed. You guys are f'ing assholes. Seriously.

Listen, lady, put the phone down

In slightly over a month, we're moving. Just across town, for no real reason. There are certain thing about Hyde Park I'm going to miss: DOC Films, Dixie Kitchen, being two blocks from the lake, a few people who I should see more often, and the free exercise area on the top floor of my building that I haven't used in nine months. The new place is, well, less than three blocks away from the fictional Championship Vinyl, in a neighborhood that gets a lot of press. Hopefully it will be an easy move and a good place to live, the apartment features a front sunporch, dishwasher, built in bookshelves, a huge kitchen, hardwood floors, and four multi-purpose rooms. A step downward in terms of quality from the ivory tower in which we currently reside, and we made a rather spontaneous judgment, so fingers crossed for no stories of shockingly cold water, formidable insects, random power outages, unbearably hot summers, unbearably noisy nearby trains, severe lack of closet space, and repeated home invasions. We shall see.

One positive that will arise from our new location is proximity to several live music venues, which will mean many opportunities for getting into trouble. Now going to concerts requires much planning. I'm seeing the Mates of State w/ Saturday Looks Good To Me on 4/6, which should be great, and then The Silver Jews on 4/14.

Ironic: I'm going to New York for four days the second week in May, which is the week Conan O'Brien is doing his show from Chicago, which I probably am not lucky enough to get tickets for.

Speaking of concerts, the B&S/NPs show a few weeks ago was one of the best concerts I've ever seen/heard. Maybe it that I'm used to small horrible-sounding club shows and crowded horribly sounding outdoor festivals, but the sound at the Riverside Theater in Milwaukee was the best I've ever heard, and both bands were on the top of their games. I was won over by Belle big time, going in with moderate expectations only, but they managed to play their best material and elevate their filler to excellent status. The Pornographers had to rush through their set, but had a couple of four part harmony moments that gave me chills (Testament to Youth in Verse was an unexpected highlight).

The Hi-Cool Blog is officially up and running, see link to the right.

Heat + Crowds + Music + Allergies = Awesome

Living in a major metropolitan area sometimes has its perks. Last year I made my first-and-second-ever appearances at real live music festivals, and had a pretty good time. This year the bands playing are even better, so it figures to be great. Here's some highlights, most of these lineups are only half-complete however, so more goodness to be added.

Pitchfork Music Festival (July 29-30) Two day pass = $30
Spoon
Yo La Tengo
Silver Jews
Ted Leo/Rx
The National
The Mountain Goats
Mission of Burma
*I already have tickets for this one. I've seen/will have seen (SJs) most of these bands already, and none are disappointing live. Plus the price is crazy delicious.

Intonation Music Festival (June 24-25) Two day pass = $35
The Streets
Bloc Party
Annie
Jon Brion
Boredoms
*This one I'm not so sure about. I'll probably need some more names added before I can get tickets. Not sure how The Streets would be live, not sure how Jon Brion will be outdoors, not sure if I like Bloc Party at all.

Lollapalooza (August 4-6) Three day pass = $145 plus shipping
Kanye West
Sonic Youth
Flaming Lips
New Pornographers
Sleater-Kinney
The Raconteurs
Mates of State
Death Cab for Cutie
The Shins
Wilco
Eels
Blackalicious
Ryan Adams
Common
Of Montreal
The Hold Steady
The Frames
The Go! Team
The Red Hot Chili Peppers are headlining too, but who cares?
*This lineup is terrific, plus rumors of Beck, Strokes, Built to Spill. Lolla last year was good but only had a few highlights (Arcade Fire, Black Keys, Kaiser Chiefs). This year it expands to 3 days (meaning a Friday off work?) and price is a little steep. I'm debating it now, but final decision may hinge on if Sonic Youth/The Flaming lips, who are touring together, play another show in Chicago. Considering that for the same price I could go to 7-8 shows where bands are not subjected to 50 minute sets and an apathetic crowd instead, I'll have to think about this.

That said, if I actually have friends interested in going to any of these, it would be a lot easier to warrant throwing down $. I usually have no problem going to shows solo, but when it's outside and I'm drinking only water even I can sometimes start to feel lame. Seriously, even me. For real. So let me know if anyone is interested in a weekend vacation.

Hi-Cool

Attention Everyone: I'm creating a new blog called 'hi-cool', whose posts will only consist of haikus, in the traditional 5-7-5 syllable format, any subject is fine. I'd like to invite any of you reading this to become contributing member of the site. If I get six people to write one tiny little haiku a week, we'd have a lot to look at. It's all about quantity, not quality, obvs.

If anyone is interested, or mildly interested, or just bored, please send me an email at scentralrain AT yahoo DOT COM. I haven't written a poem since it was required by school, so this should be interesting. The more the merrier.

The End of Medicine

Tomorrow I'm forgoing any top o' the morning green beer drinking to go to Milwaukee and see the most anticipated concert since... hmm... in terms of a double bill I can't think of much that competes with it, save for Sleater-Kinney/White Stripes in 2000, but since I hadn't heard of the WS's before then I can't say it was 'most anticipated.' Maybe R.E.M./Wilco the year before? Beulah/Mates of State? Detroit Cobras/Greenhornes? Mates of State/SLGTM (a combo I'll see again next month)? Nevertheless, Belle & Sebastian/The New motherfucking Pornographers is going to be pretty sweet, though I wished the NPs played last instead of first. Nothing against B&S, M and I have all of their albums between us, their new one is their best in 10 years, and the great B-side 'Your Cover's Blown' made my Best of 2004, but the NPs seem much more suited to rocking the house live. I've seen them before, in 2001, when they had one album under their belt, playing at the Annex in Madison with the incomparable Neko Case (don't click if you're at work!) in tow, terrific show, they even played "My Slow Descent into Alcoholism" twice for some bizarre reason. Tomorrow they'll be sans-Neko but no less awesome, I'm hoping.

I'm taking next Friday off of work to sit on my couch and watch basketball all day long.

It's been over six months since I've gotten a haircut, my little way of sticking it to the man.

Happy 6 months anniversary to M/Andy. Though the term '6 mo.s anniversary' doesn't really make sense.

Yesterday I wore a tie to work and had some meetings with important people. I'm not sure if I dazzled, but I did stay awake the entire time.

NCAA basketball tournament preview to come.

Props, Vol. 3

"Props!" is a reoccuring feature on this site that will basically consist of a short list of things that are cool, things that are awesome, things that are recommended, and things that rule. I, therefore, will be giving mad "props" to everything on the list. You can read the first installment here, and the second here. I can't believe I haven't done this since August. I'm really not that busy, I just need encouragement.

1. The Unicorns "Who Will Cut Our Hair When We're Gone?" This album made my best of 2K3, but I stupidly forgot to include on my over-hyped Top 100 list awhile back. The 'band', which I believe was two 19-yr-old Canadian kids at the time, is now broken up, but it's much better to burn out than blah blah blah. Piccolo solos and exuberant pop music without any choruses or repetition at all. Takes awhile to love (about 2.5 years for me). Dave Eggers once wrote that it's helpful to imagine the band as made entirely of candy. Listen to 2 songs and read more and then buy here.

2. The Microphones "The Glow Pt. 2" Speaking of growers, I've been listening to the microphones since 2000's It was hot, we stayed in the water, but despite my best efforts could never fully appreciate them. This album I've had on my iPod for months, and it took a few listens on headphones before I got it. Got the CD a few weeks ago, finally, and it's even better, good for nights you can't sleep or days when it's too cold to go outside. Acousticky strums, sudden walls of noise, faint tugboat recordings, murmured offkey vocals, sound that creeps into your head and never leaves. In a good way. All analog recording style, feels warm and comforting, somehow, improves upon each listen. See more and purchase at the K records site here.

3. SportsNight Aaron Sorkin's first series was something I barely noticed when it was on, but was one of my first DVD discoveries, and remains one of my favorite TV programs ever, and possibly best half-hour show. I rushed through the box set in a couple weeks, me and my roommate at the time pretended that all our conversations were written by A.S. for weeks afterwards. Such as:
N: Did you do the dishes?
K: The dishes?
N: Yes, the dishes. Did you do them?
K: Yes, I did the dishes.
N: Are you sure?
K: Yes, I did the dishes.
N: Seriously?
K: Yes, washed and dried.
N: OK, because usually you don't do the dishes.
K: I did the dishes. Except there's just one thing...
N: What's that?
K: I didn't do the the dishes.
As you can tell, it was HILARIOUS! I've probably cruised through the 45 episodes about 4 times since then, each no less rewarding. Buy it on DVD here. Sorkin has a brand new series on NBC this fall, called Studio 60 . Sure to be best evah!

4. Energy drinks + Alcohol. Please treat this one responsibly, aka when you can afford to stay awake until 4 a.m. I'm a pretty quiet person, and shy around new people. Therefore, I tend to appreciate the times when I am neither of these things. For some reason, other people tend to feel the same way. When I was single and looking: 50% of the time it worked 100% of the time.

5. Are You the Favorite Person of Anybody? This is a short film directed by Miguel Arteta (The Good Girl and Chuck and Buck) and written by Miranda July (Me and You and Everyone We Know), starring John C. Reilly, MJ, and others. As far as I know, the only place you can see it is on No. 1 of McSweeney's new DVD quarterly called Wholphin, which you can find for free in the latest issue of McSwy's or the Dec/Jan issue of their magazine The Believer. (The DVD also contains a Spike Jonze documentary on Al Gore circa 2000, and part of the David O. Russell doc on the latest mess in Iraq.) Check your nearby independent bookstore or go to their website. Anyway, this film is short, sweet, and is nearly exactly what you'd expect upon hearing the title. It prompted much daydreaming for me. Though I like to complain, I can gladly say the answer is "Yes". There haven't been many times in my life when that was the case.

13 o'clock!

Imagine that tomorrow it takes the earth exactly 26 hours to make a complete rotation, an anomaly that eventually is accepted as a new fact. There are now 26 hours in each day. Assuming no catastrophic Hurri-Typhoon-VolcanoQuakes destroy us all, which of the following would happen?:

1. Non-digital clocks are obsolete. The 13-hour clock face design never catches on, only the exceptionally bright and small children can read them. Rolex and the Swiss are both pretty much screwed.
2. Standard workday is now 10 hours, instead of 8.
3a. With two extra hours in a day, people have time to spend more, which somehow stimulates the economy positively (unemployment down, more $ changing hands). I'm not sure about this one, I'm no economist, just optimistic.
3b. Two more hours to pay for heat/electricity, feed the children, etc = poor become poorer, rich become richer.
4. It takes a generation to adjust our internal clocks to 26 hours, animals around the globe freak out: rabbits become carnivorous.
5. Primetime TV lineup is extended an hour each day. Next on FOX = 'Celebrities vs Carnivorous rabbits!'
6. Over/Under = 2 years: People starting to mutter to themselves "If there were only 27 hours in a day..." without any trace of irony
7. Life Expectancy drops by 10%, since each year is longer, plus spike in rabbit related deaths.

Any other effects?

Mexican Wolves are able to Hot-Wire a car in under 12 Seconds

Last week I was at a going-away party for a coworker who found a similar but much more lucrative job a few blocks away, drinking an uncountable amount of dollar beers and discovering the simple pleasures of miniature corn dogs. It was around ten, I was dreading my hourlong train/busride home and the slight hangover I'd sport the next workday. Seven people remained at this gathering (which had begun around five), including myself. We were sitting around a table, and seven people suddenly made three pairs plus myself. There were three very interesting conversations going on (I can only assume), none of which I could hear, despite being in the geographical center (verbal triangle?) of the action, due to crowded bar noise and half-deafness. I leaned over to each conversation, attempting to pick up a punchline or at least create the illusion that I was part of the conversation, but it didn't happen. This went on for roughly forty-five minutes, by my estimation. Well, maybe more like three minutes, but that was enough for me to drink my final beer and have painful recollections of my first week (or month?) of my freshman year of high school. Then I ran 80 blocks home.

That same day I had my annual review at work. Everything is satisfactory, apparently.

Last Friday I went to the vastly underrated U of C Pub, and had a terrific time before walking up three flights of stairs and watching SLGTM play for free on a shitty soundsystem. Different drummer, no girl singer, they say they're recording a new record in town, played all new songs but the last 3 of the set. Also bought their brand new compilation of non-album tracks, which kind of renders the 7"s and CDEPs I bought of theirs in the past kind of useless. Either way, great show as always, I'll probably see them again in April opening for Mates of State.

Life since then has been a blur of french restaurants, afternoon cooking expeditions, sore throats, laundry, grocery shopping, sentimental schmaltz, and the sweet, nearly-forgotten taste of a giiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin and tonic.

Take me away to Pina Colada-town

Sometime in mid to late October it was decided that I'd be going to Mexico in late January. Since then days lost nearly all meaning except in their proximity to the Jan 20th departure date. A bad day at work? That's okay, in 2 months and 12 days I'll be in Mexico. Another bad day at work? That's okay, only 2 months and 11 days til Mexico. Another bad day at work? That's okay, only 41 actual days of work until Mexico, et cetera ad nauseum. So now I'm back, a week of work post Mexico, nine days and six hours since the plane touched down. Needless to say this past week has provided a resurgence of my always ongoing existential crisis, the one that began a few years ago when I started having panic attacks brought on by thoughts of death without an afterlife, my conservative upbringing fully countered (if not beaten into submission) by my liberal education and/or rejecting of the 'ignorance is bliss' caveat. Anywho, one week down two thousand nine hundred and ninety-nine to go, ha ha ha ha.

Mexico ruled, I think my first three days there were the most peaceful I've had in succession in several years, if not ever. Lying on the beach with a steady rotation of drinks in my hand, eating way too much food of every possible ethnic variety whenever I felt like it, laughingly trying to utilize the fifty words I know in Spanish to the locals, the sun, the red-flagged waves that repeatedly swept out my legs like the Cobra Kai, and the white beach sand that was always cool on my feet despite the high temperature. The last few days were diminished (only slightly) by clouds, cooler temperatures, and the inevitable feeling that I couldn't stay forever, and would return to reality with only a t-shirt, cheap maracas, a surprisingly slight suntan, and two bottles of tequila as evidence of the experience. But the number one highlight probably occurred on the last full day we were there, swimming in a cenote (sinkhole) a few miles away from Chichen Itza, a hundred feet underground in water that was 150 feet deep, with roots and sun and small waterfalls spilling onto our heads, jumping timidly off small cliffs into the freshest water I've ever seen or tasted. There are 290 digital pictures and 75 on film, at least a couple will be posted when I get around to it.

So I've been back and have done nothing of note. Stayed home mostly, made a delicious 15-bean and ham soup, went out for middle eastern food once, tried to exercise but couldn't find my 'work-out shorts', today went to see 'The New World' and thoroughly enjoyed it.

Coming as soon as possible: 'A new edition of 'Props', a stat-heavy breakdown of my annual "best of 200-" albums as compared with the general critical consensus, something about NFL Football or college basketball, and funnier, better written posts with no mention whatsoever about how boring things are or of death.

Unnoticeabull

I haven't had a chance to watch SportsCenter or anything, but according to the InterWeb, the big story this morning is that Antonio Davis went into the stands at the Bulls/Knicks game last night when he thought his wife was being threatened. What is interesting is that if this is the biggest sports story of the year, which it obviously shouldn't be, then I, and the rest of section 314 at the United Center, somehow missed out on it completely.

I was at the game, and the incident apparently occurred with only a minute left in OT. A few minutes earlier, there was a bit of a fight and a double ejection, which everyone saw. The Davis incident didn't cause much more than a ripple in the opposing crowd, it was so low key that the crowd never had any chance to jeer or boo, and I didn't even hear the announcement that he was ejected. Perhaps all of this is due to the fact that I was approximately 4,348 feet away from the scene, and extremely lightheaded due to the high altitude. Also, since our seats were roughly in the corner of the court, and on the aisle, every time some idiot kid decided to walk down the stairs and help himself to eight dollar nachos my view was completely cut off. The experience was surreal in the sense that until the waning moments of the 4th quarter and OT, the crowd was virtually silent during gameplay, and only made noise during the between-period breaks and time-out filling moments such as the Duncan Donuts Race, the 'hilarious' antics of Benny the Bull, the dudes armed with T-shirt bazookas, and the delightfully whorish choreography of the 'Love-a-bulls' dancers. Since I generally hate even going to people's houses to watch games on TV because half the people there usually spend more time exchanging recipes for spinach dip than comparing assist to turnover ratio (or explaining why Peyton Manning sucks or whatever), the experience of sitting, trying to focus, with 20,000 distracted people was at times painful. Regardless, the game was sloppy but good, Ben Gordon (who's on my underachieving fantasy basketball team) scored 32 including the buzzer-beater to win it.

I'll be back in a week, amigos!

Gimme a Breaksville!

In four days I'm going to Mexico, to this place here. I've kept quiet about it to not upset the vengeful travel gods, who love nothing better than smiting overjoyed vacationers (see 2005, June). I'm also trying to downplay any excitement that would cause the rest of the week to be unbearable. I'm also, due to my cynical nature, trying to make a list of all the potential disasters that could occur while on the trip. The ten-day forecast is already showing an unseasonal week of rain. I'm remarkably cocky about my linguistic skillz, despite the fact that I dropped out of second-semester Spanish in college not once but twice. I can't imagine avoiding what will surely be a horrific sunburn. I may get bored of sitting by the beach all day. I mean, obviously it will be nicer weather than Chicago, and obvs it will be more enjoyable than working, but could all this vacation $ be better spent on a low-end plasma TV? I'm always big on experiences, but planning them ahead of time can be hit or miss. This concludes me complaining about going to Mexico for a week. I'm excited, don't get me wrong.

Here was my Saturday: Wake up when M gets home at 9, half-sleep another hour. Eat cereal and read for a bit. Move to the couch at 11 am. Watch Iowa-Penn St basketball game, watch Wisconsin-Northwestern basketball game, watch Wash-Seattle playoff game, watch NE-Den playoff game. I think I ate food and possibly showered sometime in there. I stayed on the couch for most of SNL too. But 11.5 straight hours of sports was quite nice. Sometime around hour 5 or 6 I had the idea that I'd take off of work the first Thursday and Friday of the NCAA basketball tournament. See, this is where a wide screen plasma high definition TV would come in handy. I have 20" of regular ol' basic TV, which was a high school graduation present. I'm an unintentional luddite.

Gambling tip #1: If you live in a city with a major sports team, you'll always be able to find some sucker who is willing to make a straight-up bet on them against substantial odds. Due to the Bears not making the Super Bowl, I win $20. Hooray!

Bought tickets to a co-headlining New Pornographers/Belle & Sebastian show in March, going to be awesome. Seeing Ted Leo the day before, too.

I've had an upset stomach since yesterday; most likely my trip is going to be ruined.

Happy Year of the Whisper Quiet Maytag Dishmaster!

It seems like i'm on a once every two week kick around here, something I'll try to remedy soon. I'll add it to the resolution list:
Eat Better/Exercise:New Year's Resolutions::RSTLN E:Wheel of Fortune Bonus Round. Also reading more things that aren't on a computer screen, unless I'm writing them. Also go out and drink more often but drink less quantities of alcohol overall. Get out of bed earlier, work harder. Get through at least one conversation with someone, anyone, but preferably with someone I don't know well, without fearing that they have quickly lost interest in whatever I'm saying and are only being polite before finding the chance to end said conversation (the only times in my approx. 26.6667 years that this has happened is when I'm the one being polite and looking for a way out (which represents a small percentage of overall conversations), so what I'm really saying is, I suppose, is have more conversations that are mutually appealing, without the urge to bang my head against a hard surface either after or during.) Also: cook interesting but practical meals.

Christmas was basically a long weekend with lots of gifts changing hands and driving. We got our load of things to try and cram into our apartment (which will be doable once we obtain and assemble our fifth bookshelf.) My personal highlight was absolutely destroying my family playing poker on Christmas Eve, despite the fact that I haven't played in nearly two years. But overall it was quick and also exhausting. The following 4-day workweek was among my worst work week's ever, and it seemed roughly twice as long. Thursday night I broke my routine to go out with coworkers for drinks. Several hours later the 'drinks' were the equivalent of roughly 13 beers, all consumed without any food since my two-sandwich lunch around noon. Needless to say, the fact that I was conscious enough to find my way 85 blocks home was remarkable in itself, with no permanent damage save for a nasty scratch on my new inessential cell phone from when I dropped it either before or after a failed attempt to call one of my coworkers and shout something loud into the phone. I made it to work around 10 the next morning, luckily it was a slow pre-holiday day. This episode was enough for me to avoid regretting not having fun, sexy plans for new year's eve, which I largely spent alone at home trying to fix my ipod. As midnight fireworks were heard emanating from downtown, I was on hour seven in the process and (obviously) too wired from sheer adrenaline to notice the passing of one calendar year closer to my (fiery?) (watery?) (sticky?) grave.

Later there was champagne and cake and a trip to a Nepalese (sp?) restaurant in the north suburbs and watching the excellent and highly recommended 'The Squid and the Whale' afterwards. (TSATW, along with 'Me and You and Everyone we Know' make up the entirety of my 'best of 2005' film list, fyi)

The Best of 2005 CD should be in several hands already, and others will have to wait until I get CD-packing envelopes and make a trip to the Post Office. Best Year Ever? You can be the judge.

and THAT's why you don't use a one-armed person to scare someone

N: Can I dropkick you?
M: No, you'll hurt yourself.
N: No, seriously. You can just stand, uh, over there (points to area near front door) and I'll come running around from the bathroom and then jump up and kick you with both feet at once. It'll be awesome.
M: No.
N: C'mon! It'll take like three seconds. It's only fair, I went to see the Nutcracker ballet with you yesterday, and that was like an hour and a half. All I'm asking for is three seconds.
M: No.
N: You are so selfish. This is why we will never get married. Because you won't let me dropkick you.

the Xmas holiday means a three-day weekend, so I'll be in the town of my birth from about noon on Saturday until 2 pm on Monday or so. Anyone who wants to ditch their family can let me know.

Oh, that reminds me, I now have a cellular telephone. I'm not sure how I feel about it. My newly purchased ringtone is 'the final countdown' by europe. Luckily no one calls me, because no one knows the number. Plus, you know, I have a phone at home and work already.

Xmas shopping is done, we had our office xmas party last week, it was eight beers of a good time.

Best of 2005 should be finished up in the next couple days, I'm pretty sure 'trapped in a closet' is NOT going to make the cut. I'll be bringing a few copies home for the weekend, the others will be mailed out next week after the assembly line churns them out and I buy enough envelopes. I lost everyone's addresses who got one last year, so everyone should send me an email to remind me (scentralrain@yahoo.com).

Like a Kitten in a Blender

The Charlie Brown Christmas special is way overrated. The beginning is okay, sets the premise nicely, C.B. is depressed about Christmas. Okay, awesome. Then we have roughly 18 minutes of filler, as the kids dance around to the Vince Guaraldi soundtrack and bitch at CB for awhile. Bore City. Then we have Linus (who, I've never realized, is kind of a douche) speech about the baby Jesus and whatnot, which causes my very liberal (and possibly atheistic) mind to cringe violently. CB runs off to kill himself or something, and the rest of the asshole kids turn his tree with four pine needles into a perfect triangular Xmas tree masterpiece, following by the humming then singing of hymns, and the end credits. Bullshit. Two yawns up.

Speaking of the upcoming holiday, I've yet to do any sort of shopping. I have a few ideas. For instance, the Lagattas are getting the basketball that was supposed to be part of their wedding gift but which stupid Sears decided to vaporize. M will get a pair of diamond earrings (well, she wants one diamond, so how much better will two be?). My parents will get the same cheap crappy things they ask for every year, unless I can think of anything better. Hopefully I'll be inspired to shop soon, next year I'll do everything on some boring October day. I hate the crowds. And I've been too busy at work to shop online.

Last weekend was the semi-annual weekend of excitement and fun. And getting lost on the north side. Friday I went to see the Black Keys, alone since my coworker backed out. It was a good show, and I sold my extra ticket without a loss. Only problem was that I left my house at 8 pm, got home about 1 am, and the show lasted only an hour. I tried taking the bus to the el, but that took forever, then when i got off the train I went the wrong way, so then I finally found the place and found the person who said she was going to buy my ticket, and then some sort of chaos happened. I'm too confused to tell the story, but it ended up taking me another 15 minutes to get rid of my ticket. I got inside for the opening act's last song. the opening act was this 60ish dude who put a soul record out in the sixties, then retired until now. The song he played was his big hit, called 'Love and Affection in the House of Correction', which, now that I think about it, could be the most disturbing song title in the history of modern music. The song also repeatedly contained the phrase 'shake what your momma gave ya,' and I'm not sure if he, Nathaniel Mayer, coined it himself or if it existed prior, or if he just added it to the 05 version of the song. The dude's voice, unfortunately, due to far too many years of hard living, was barely one step about the people who have to hold an electronic voicebox to their throats to speak. Then I waited around for about a half hour, then TBKs came on and rocked out, but didn't do anything different than when I saw them at Lolla this summer. I left and took el plus bus home, took forever, and by then my quickly induced buzz from five hours earlier had worn off.

The next day I got up and went back up north, this time to meet some coworkers at a bar at 1130 am. I didn't leave the bar til 330, and when I did it was to go to someone's apartment and drink more. I also had my first cigarette and first hit of pot since 2003, both of which were ultrafantastique. I didn't head back home until 930, and of course I got lost and it took me nearly an hour and a half. Best day ever? Best in a couple months, anyway.

I've decided that the Daily Show is only good during the election season. I mean, it's funny and everything, but mostly all that happens is they show a clip of W making as ass of himself, and then J. Stewart looks at the camera. Which is funny, don't get me wrong, but why do we need the middleman? We could just gather around some pals and pop in a tape of GW, hilarity ensues. Well, kudos to the Daily Show's editors at least. But I've actually been enjoying the Colbert Report more, since it's actual satire.

Funny in my last post: I criticized Wake Forest's free throw shooting skillz, and they end up hitting 26 for 29 in beating the badgers by 3.

I still keep hearing a rumor that I'm getting a cellphone. Maybe this week, even.

Upcoming events: Friday is our office holiday potluck. Most people are boycotting due to the recent firings. M said she'd make some brownies for me. Out of a box. Sweetness. Friday night is M's holiday party, which means free drinks for me. Check the 12/04 archives for a recap of last years exciting event.

Til I Get My Way

Tonight I get the rare opportunity to watch the UW basketball Badgers play on TV, thanks to newfound cable and the big ten/acc challenge. "We've" already struggled with Eastern Kentucky and Old Dominion this year, the former being a come from behind double OT thrilla, and are on the road at Wake Forest, but I think we have a shot, Wake commits too many turnovers and can't shoot free throws.

Thanksgiving weekend was spent in the confines of my apartment, save for a brief foray downtown on saturday night. M's family arrived to provide the kind of shocking drama you only usually see in movies or on TV. No details here, sorry. Otherwise I picked up a whopping 5 games on my dad in our family football pick em pool, going from being down 2 to up 3, giving myself a realistic chance to have the best pigskin prognosticating record in my immediate family for the first time since 1992. But seriously, who would pick Detroit, even on Thanksgiving? I fear for his mental health.

Only four thousand words to go before I give up non-bloggy writing forever. December is National Start Exercising and Lose at Least Five Pounds and Stop Feeling Sluggish All The Time and Maybe The Approximately Three Liters of Scotch I've Drank While Writing Has Something To Do With It Month. Ab-roller, it's been far too long. What, I have a free exercise room in my building? Who knew?

I'm crazy exited about this. Best of 2006 for sures! Speaking of, if anyone wants a best of 2005 CD who didn't get one last year, let me know by the middle of December. I begin working my mix-tape magic next week!

Music: I'm seeing The Black Keys on Friday at the Metro, I'm super excited. Haven't been to a show in so long, and these guys are grrreat. Problem is the coworker I am supposed to go with is suddenly trying to flake out on me.

How long are Thanksgiving leftovers good for? We've inherited enough food to feed a small elite ninja squad for a week, but I've barely made a dent in it. That said, dinner tonite: Thanksgiving leftovers.

A couple months ago I got a mailing with an offer for a discounted subscription to MAXIM magazine. Usually, I just throw these in the trash absentmindedly, but this one I didn't throw away immediately, mostly because I was lazy. M says "Are you going to get MAXIM?" I said "eh?" She says, "i don't care, you can get it if you want" and I say "Fine, I'll get it!" and sent back the subscription card. Now I have an eighteen-month subscription to fucking MAXIM. I've already received two issues. Pictures of breasts? Check. Sarcastic captions in small-print? Check. Content that reads like it's trying to target a man so one-dimensional that he would be more realistic and multi-faceted if his sole characteristics and personality were derived from a 1987 Elaine Boosler stand-up comedy special? Ch-ch-check. I can barely page through a whole issue without getting a headache, and the pictures aren't even that great. I have a theory that the magazine is actually written and edited by a bunch of smart guys who read Harper's on the subway ride home from work. Then they go to work the next day, and say, "Okay, let's make our magazine for guys who are too stupid to get through the articles in Esquire or GQ and live in their stepmom's basement." I have made many mistakes in my life, and this ranks in the top 1000.

The engine of the corporate machine is greased with the blood of the working man, Or, Rise Up, Comrades!

The corporate world sucks. Yesterday eight of my coworkers were 'let go.' It's a pretty big chunk, considering our company has only maybe 60 people or thereabouts. A couple of the people who were fired weren't very good employees, and I would've fired them a long time ago if I had the power. But some were, and one had been here 27 years.

I dodged the bullet since either:
A) My wide range of knowledge is too valuable to risk losing
B) I get paid less than everyone else who works here, by far.

I'm not sure if this is really a corporate thing, either. Are there any jobs that don't work like this? Doctors don't get downsized, do they? Lawyers? The big problem is that people get rich by finding the least amount of people to work for the least amount of money. My dad lost his job, along with everyone else is his factory, a few years ago because of this. I figure I am safe for now, since my (alleged) future potential and low wages deem me worth keeping, despite my relatively low production. But at what point does the balance shift? In five years? Ten? I don't know, but something tells me I won't be sticking around to find out. Of the eight who were fired, I don't think any were younger than 40. Maybe one in their late 30s or so. If I was to get fired once in my life, I'd want it to be when I was 26 instead of when I'm 46 with six kids and a house.

This weekend will be spent doing laundry and writing. One of the guys who got fired is my opponent in this week's Fantasy Football game, so I'll feel guilty if I win. Though both of us should be in the playoffs either way.

Taste the Happy!

You are all probably a lost cause by now, but you can buy the Season 1 and Season 2 DVDs of Arrested Development from amazon for only $31.94 (scroll down to Best Value)

I've gots blistahs on me fingahs!

Note to any aspiring writers out there: If you are attempting to write a novel in a month, or in any length of time for that matter, it would be a good idea if you had some idea of a plot when you were nearly half done. At the very least, at least have one very defined and interesting character, someone who could carry the reader even if there wasn't much of a plot. Coincidentally, I have neither of these in any of my 18797 words or 55 pages so far. I write bad sentences, but can't delete them, wary of the hit my word county would take. So, it's all crap. This weekend i wrote zero words on friday, over 3000 on saturday (mostly all after 10 pm) and another couple thousand yesterday. I'm still 3K behind where I should be, and am thinking about staying in my apartment alone over thanksgiving weekend in order to make finishing possible. Since my only other option is traveling to Iowa, it's quite possible.

Spending 60 hours a week at a computer limits the number of humorous anecdotes I may have, unless you count scoring an all-time high with my Samkon Gado-led fantasy football team and still getting beat. (the WSs are now in a third place tie with a 6-4 record, for shame!)

I was just thinking it would be awesome if sometime next spring I came upon a large sum of money. I want to travel again, 2k3-style. With my current job I've already broken the record of most consecutive months in full-time employment by the same company, without getting a five month break in the middle to drink a lot and feel depressed. I have business cards now. I actually met with a financial advisor last week, and he tried to make me discuss some vague plans for retirement. RETIREMENT! Are you kidding me? I hemmed and hawed for a bit, then threw down a smoke bomb and escaped to go home and play Nintendo and eat Nachos.

Two sips from the cup of human kindness and I'm shit-faced

It's Friday afternoon, I'm just getting over a little 'our company is doing so poorly and I'm the person with the least experience so maybe I'll get downsized today' ride to work this morning. I planned on telling everyone off and spending the rest of the weekend drunk. Oh well, one out of two ain't bad. HA!

Real weekend plans include:
tonight: ?
tomorrow: try to catch up on NaNoWriMo. I've got 13,290 words so far (officially the longest piece of writing by me, evah), two pages of which are actually semi-decent, by my low standards. The other 40 are shit. Seriously. Garbage. My plan is to try and write 1800 tonight after M goes to sleep and write 5000 tomorrow in three shifts, which will catch me up to where I should be. Should be manageable, aside from the UW/Iowa game I've got nothing to do. If you are interested, you can see my progress here. Remember, it's all about quantity, not quality.

Last weekend my parents came, and it was OK. We stayed in the neighborhood the whole time they were here, went out to eat a couple times, went to the MoS&I, and played 'Cranium,' which seemed to make my dad sick with embarrassment. It was a little weird.

Found out today the Arrested Development has been cut from 22 to 13 episodes this season, and will inevitably be cancelled for real this year. I'm not surprised, but obviously it sucks. Last monday featured the two best eps of the season. 'The jury is still out on science.' ha, ha, cry.

I remember when I was a little kid, and my dad watched the Packer game every Sunday, even though the team would always be 4-12 or 6-10 for the season. I really didn't get into football until I was 12 or 13, which was when the packers started winning. Now, as my team sits at 1-7 for the year, it just seems surreal. I mean, they really don't seem THAT bad, just a few plays away from having a 4-4 record. Is this just denial on my part? Maybe. At least we'll do better next year when we have a cake schedule.

I'm the worst blogger evah lately, but better than most of my readers, at least. Honestly you guys.

Last night I convinced M to leave the apartment on a school night and go see 'Pickpocket' at the Music Box Theater. I call it one of my fave movies ever, but I had only seen it once before, while in school. Criterion collection DVD comes out this month, ch-ch-check it out. Worth it for the train (& train station) scene alone.

Just this minute I saw a piece of paper underneath my monitor stand that was from the person who lived in my cube before me. For some reason I thought it would be a good idea to pull it out. Now my black pants are covered in dust. Rad.

I'm trying to read a borrowed copy of David Foster Wallace's 'Infinite Jest' this month. It's so good, but going to take me awhile. Also, due to its influence, I've started using footnotes in my 'novel.' (IJ actually uses endnotes) Also bought 'The Better of McSweeneys' online for only $13. Looks great, but it'll have to wait for a bit.

One day after I signed an online petition to not allow drilling in the ANWR, the provision was taken out of the house bill. Coincidence? Maybe, but that reminds me I should sign the annual 'Save Arrested Development' petition right now.

Post of substance will return someday.

Trapped in the closet, chapters 6-8

Tonight my parents are visiting. I need to clean the bathroom and make the bed. They are staying in the 'hospitality suite' in my building, and leaving sunday early enough to make it home before the 3:15 packer game. They'll probably arrive too late tonight to do much, but I hear that tomorrow we'll go to the Museum of Science and Industry. Should be good times, haven't seen them for four months, and the time apart always makes our meetings more pleasant. That, and the fact that usually we end up all drinking together as well.

My novel has 5440 words to date, only 44,560 to go. I'll probably fall behind this weekend. So far it is the worst thing ever. Stay tuned.