Summer Jamz '05

I know it's been so long, but I refuse to offer any apologies. Been busy, deal with it. Last night, for example, I tied a thermos to a kitchen chair with yarn, and then took a picture of it.

This weekend I'm going to Madison for a wedding. It will be my third consecutive weekend traveling to Wisconsin (1. camping labor day in new glarus 2. wedding in appleton) For this wedding M is the maid of honor. So we have to go to the rehearsal/dinner combo on friday, but after that I will enjoy our fancy hotel room with pool and watch college football on saturday. The wedding is late, and the reception at the hotel, so I can feign stomach pains and leave whenever I feel like it and order Pokey Sticks. Also plan on visiting old haunts (B-side records!) and possibly stocking up on cheap groceries. I will know a few people at the wedding, and M's dad, but nobody that's going to guarantee a good time. Unlike last weekend, which was the best time I've ever had at a wedding in years, if not ever. It seems like it's less fun for the people who are actually getting married, so count me out for awhile yet.

Yesterday after work I went to an Open House at an Insurance Company in the building taller than mine. There were games, like answering questions about insurance and then throwing a ball into buckets, bozo-style. There was also a drawing for ipods and portable dvd players. I won a slinky at the game, but no fancy electronics. I also had two beers and something large covered in chocolate. Being there for 30 minutes, I should have gotten 100 beers, it was so lame. Lame. Lame lame lame.

When I was on the golf team in high school my senior year, my golf coach (and freshman science teacher), upon realizing that I would not contribute anything to the team that year, told me he'd at least like to make me a respectable corporate golfer. I guess this means that I could go golfing with a bunch of suits and 'close deals' or whatever the hell I'm supposed to be doing. Unfortunately, I don't think I'm there yet, unless 'close deals' means lose 23 balls. Granted, a few weeks ago was my first time in 5 years, but still. I hoped I'd have suddenly gained some ability over time not playing. Nope. Still horrible. Really horrible. I wonder if my own mother, who to my knowledge has ever touched a golf club, and is not very athletic (though she does do aerobics), could beat me at golf. I'd say there's about a 30% chance she could. My name should be golf slang for doing really badly. "How'd ya do on the links today, Frank?" "Awful, I was nicking them all over the place. Every other hole I was nicking myself silly."

Camping was OK, weather was nice. It's a lot different going camping with your girlfriend than going camping with 6 pals from high school. For one, the person who drinks the most is honored the next day. In the other, you get yelled at for puking on someone's birkenstock sandal. For one, everyone takes turns starting fires and cooking. But not in the other. In one, you whine to each other about not having girlfriends to bring camping, and in the other you wonder how many more daddylonglegs spiders you have to kill before you go crazy. Ironically enough, this was the first time I've been camping where there was a campsite filled with single, 20 yr old girls.

I think it's pretty weak to talk about this, but my fantasy football team is great. The Wyld Stallyns are the points leader after week 1 in both my leagues.

I'll write more, I promise.

Pay up or the Thermos gets it!

Props! Vol. 2

"Props!" is a reoccuring feature on this site that will basically consist of a short list of things that are cool, things that are awesome, things that are recommended, and things that rule. I, therefore, will be giving mad "props" to everything on the list. You can read the first installment here. I apologize for not doing this again sooner, but I've been busy. Hope you're satisfied... So stop bothering me about it, assholes!

1. "America's Test Kitchen." Check your local listings on PBS for this cooking show, which usually airs on weekends. I'm now a cooking show expert, as my lovely girlfriend enjoys watching them (despite not really actually cooking herself). Most cooking shows are either kind of elitist in their assumption that everybody's kitchen just happens to have 9 quarts of squid-stock lying around, and make things that are too complicated or expensive for everyday use. ATK has much more of a populist appeal, and I've learned things from how to dice an onion to how to make shrimp to which is the best microwave popcorn. When this show ends after 30 short minutes, I am sad. I could watch it for hours.

2. The Elephant 6 Collective. This was a group of musicians/bands in the mid to late 90s, stemming from Athens, GA, which each released albums influenced by 60s Sgt. Pepperesque psychedelic pop, to put it the most simply. Everyone played on everyone else's albums, produced each other, and seemed to operate on a completely different level than all other 90s rock. The bands involved include the Apples in Stereo, Olivia Tremor Control (see previous post), and Neutral Milk Hotel. The latter's "In the Aeroplane Over the Sea" is probably one of the top 10 records of all time, buy it tomorrow if you don't have it.

3. Bob Costas. Since he only comes out of hiding to do his HBO show and Olympic broadcasts nowadays, I don't get to see much of him, but the man is always on his game. I remember his play by play from the NBA finals and World Series more than the games themselves, his steady intelligence and quick sarcastic wit never fall to brighten my sports-viewing experiences. He's going to be doing the pregame/halftime show next year when the Sunday night football games are on NBC, about 390 days away. I'm going to make a paper chain with 390 links, and each day i will cut another one off until, finally, I can be immersed in his brilliant radiance.

4. Tilapia. When it comes to fish, this one is great. Usually pretty inexpensive in a supermarket (4-5 dollars a pound, most of the time coming in individually vacuum-sealed packs), it is easy to make and very healthy. Best yet, most of these are raised in 'farms', instead of pulling out of polluted waters. I usually add salt/pepper, dill, lemon juice and occasionally garlic, then bake at 425 degrees for 15-20 minutes for 4 fillets. Tonight I made some on my George Foreman grill. It was OK, but the outside was kind of toughly hardened. Baking is 'where it's at,' though, as the kids say.

5. Public Transportation. Sure, you may love the Jaguar that you drive, and be secretly intimidated and confused by your city's public transportation system, but once you figure things out you'll realize how simple and easy it is. Why waste your commute cursing at traffic when you could be reading a book or dirty magazine?

Bringing about the apocalypse is not considered cool

There's really not much to tell, this weekend is the last in a long while in which I'll be doing absolutely nothing. Today I created an N-shaped indentation in the couch, while watching nothing in particular in TV. I feel no guilt, there is no sense of a wasted opportunity here. The next bunch of weekends are all going to be filled with so much activity it's crazy. Next weekend i'm flying to mpls to get into 87 sorts of mischief, the following weekend M's family is visiting, then labor day weekend I'm going camping for three days with M (which should provide hilarious blog stories, stay tuned... she already freaked out as I was making the reservation when I told her what a 'pit-toilet' was. ha ha ha), then I plan on bathing and getting a haircut in time for two successive weddings, which will land me exhausted in the second half of september. Sometime in the middle of that I also have to draft the best fantasy football team ever, as well.

It's been so long, so I'll just hit the highlights of the past few weeks:

July 29, the Olivia Tremor Control concert. OTC is a band that broke up after their 1999 album, and is only playing a handful of shows before splitting up again, so I was super stoked to catch them. The show was sold out, held in a very small club. With everyone as excited as I was, that meant for a lot of squished sweaty people who knew all the songs. The stage was no less squished, as up to 10 people were playing in the band at once, each a variety of instruments: two guitarists, bass, keyboards, banjo, drums, clarinet, tuba, trombone, sax, trumpet, and various tape and effects machines. All of this while a constant looping psychedelic video projected on and behind the band. The sum effect was actually overwhelming at times, unlike their records the live show wasn't perfectly mixed, so if someone was watching without knowing the songs, they would have a hard time knowing what was going on. The sound got better after the first few songs, luckily, and the experience was as fantastic and trippy as I had hoped. They played for about two whole hours before the sound guy cut them off and kicked everyone out of the club at 2 in the morning. Great times.

The next week I had my first business meeting with a client. Going in, I wasn't too worried since someone else was going to be there. But, of course he happened to bail at the last minute, so I had to pretend I knew what was going on while I talked to this person. I took her out to lunch at a fancy Italian restaurant; I had the swordfish, it was superb. It was kind of like an awkward first date. Or so I can imagine, all of my first dates have gone completely smooth.

Last friday I went to a party. A real party, with a barrel of beer and loud music, people smoking on the balcony. I guy I work with was hosting, a bunch of coworkers showed up. I was asked to provide music, so I hooked up my iPod to his stereo and unleashed my partytime playlist, which surprising was a big hit. There is nothing that pleases me more than a bunch of people asking me questions about music. I got orders to burn several CDs already. Aside from getting completely drunk, I stayed out of trouble (no smoking, no drugs, no stealing things, no smashing things, no making out with anyone), left the party at 3:30, grabbed a gyro and a 'pizza puff,' and crashed at someone else's place, who has the best view I've ever seen anywhere in my entire life. Slept until the sun heated the room up to 120 degrees, and took the trains home saturday morning, where I sat on the couch and drank water the rest of the day. Great times.

The past week went pretty quickly, mostly due to the fact that i missed work on wed and thurs to attend a seminar on the west side of the city, which was so painful that I wished I could've worked instead. The best thing about it was that I got to take the bus through the ghetto on the way there. That was fun and interesting for me.

I think I'm going to go crazy and get cable television. For the sake of my fantasy football team.

For some reason I spent 45 minutes online today looking at Playstation 2 consoles and games. I may be done with books. I also finished the 'Firefly' DVDs, already super excited for the movie, out 9/30.

I may get forced to get a cell phone this week. We'll see.

Gigantic

Last sunday was the hottest day in six years, high of 102 degrees. What better place to spend the day than at at outdoor festival!

To start from the beginning, I got there about noon on saturday, marveled at the lax security, and caught the last few songs of the Int'l Noise Conspiracy's set, which luckily included the only song of theirs that I know "capitalism stole my virginity" which is quite possibly the best song title of all time. Leave a comment if you can think of anything better. It did seem rather ironic, however, that the band played this at Lolla, on the SBC East stage, sponsored by a million giant corporations, to people that have paid the same amount for a ticket than people earn in a year in a third world country. But I'm down, yo, national health care would rock. Then i sat on the grass while M83 played their guitar based electro/instrumentals and applied a generous amount of sunscreen. Then moved back over to hear the Trail of Dead, who were loud as hell and pretty entertaining, they predictably smashed all their equipment at the end; even though i knew it was coming it was kinda cool to see not one, but two drum kits flying off the stage.

Then i traveled to the opposite corner of the field to see the Kaiser Chiefs. There were four stages, each in one corner of the giant field, and two stages played at once. The weird thing was while this was a relatively large area, you could still hear both playing at the same time if you were anywhere near the middle, and if you were up front by one of the stages you'd hear the other band when the one you were watching stopped. Anyway, the KC's were fantastic, I'd barely listened their album twice and seemed to know every song anyway (I described them to a friend as being Franz Ferdinand plus the Clash, but that seems kind of lazy). One of the highlights of day one for sure despite the singer losing his voice. He even brought a couple fans on stage to sing one of the songs. Incidentally, this is the second time I'd see a band do that, the first was Beulah in 2001 (with opening band being then-unknown Mates of State). Afterwards I saw about half of the Brian Jonestown Massacre's set, and then took off for a break, found food (giant burrito) and airconditioning. Came back to watch Blonde Redhead's show, which was OK (the other option was Billy Idol). It rained on me for about 25 minutes while i was waiting for the Black Keys to start. They finally did with me as close to the stage as I'd get on saturday. They were one the most anticipated bands to see for me, but I was worried how they'd sound outside as opposed to a small smokey club. Well, they definitely didn't disappoint at all, I was surprised to see the singer/guitarist didn't even use a pick despite sounding so loud and brutal at times. They played fantastic, and the songs were stuck in my head the rest of the day.

I had to rush across the field to get a decent spot to see the Pixies. They came out and played over 20 songs in 75 minutes, rarely speaking between at all. They sounded great, Frank Black sweated about 39 gallons but his voice was perfect, hitting all the screams and everything. It was cool to see them, finally, but I wish I would have in 1989 rather than 2005. They said goodnite and then slooooooooooowly walked off stage while the audience shouted for more, then went back and played 'Where is my Mind?" as the sun completely disappeared. That was fricking sweet right there.

Weezer was last, and i was pretty far away, but I felt they had somehow turned into a band that's going to end up playing state fairs when they're in their 50s. They played 6 songs from their first album and only 4 from their most recent. I was in the back, shouting for them to 'play the hits!'. I had seen them in 2001, and they were pretty good then, but now I was annoyed at Rivers' lame between song comments and the lack of energy they had. Their newest album is shit, by the way, remind me to delete it from my iPod.

I caught the train home and began my coughing and sneezing fit (I'm apparently allergic to outdoor music festivals). Went back around 2:30 on sunday, with M in tow, when it was about 100 degrees. Saw Dinosaur Jr play most of their set (another band reunited in the name of cashing in). They were loud and good, J Mascis now has long grey hair and a potbelly, which is kinda funny. M liked their set too, and recognized more songs than I. This lead me to the following conclusion about her taste in music: If she listened to them up to the year 2000, she would like them no matter what they sounded like. If she discovered them after the year 2000, she would like them only if they were 'pretty' sounding, not loud, not offensive in any way. If she heard a recording released prior to 2000 that wasn't pretty sounding, she would like it only if she had listened to it in her younger days. Which meant Dinosaur Jr. = good, but Sonic Youth = bad. Also, weirdly THe pixies 'doolittle' album is good, but the 'come on pilgrim' ep is bad. What a friggin nutbar!

Anyway, we spent the next couple hours hanging out in the shade, there were a lot of buses around, idling with air conditioning on. We refilled our four water bottles and went to see the Arcade Fire. They were fantastic, probably the best performance I saw all weekend. They came out in three-piece black suits, with the girls in long dresses and opera gloves. 9 people on stage, and all of them had tremendous energy. Though I haven't given their record enough spins (it didn't make the best of 2004 cut due to lack of singles) I did know most of the songs, and I recommend catching them live at any cost. I was blown away.

We saw Spoon next, my 5th time, had the best view of the weekend. They packed a lot into an hour, but only played songs from their last 3 albums. Which was fine, but i was hoping for '30 gallon tank'. Oh well. They played good, even the keyboard player didn't screw up at all (usually the weakest link of a spoon show). Played all the 'hits', I wish it could've gone over an hour.

After some 'cooling bus', saw some of both the Dandy Warhols and the Killers, then we had to get a spot for the last band of the night, Death Cab for Cutie, whom M loves with a fiery passion. (Their second album is great, third is okay, the rest are kinda blah, IMHO). They played and it was predictable and okay, but this point my allergies had started to kick in and I was busy worrying about Monday at work. M loved it, screaming like a 13 yr old between songs and jumping up and down and doing her weird dance when her feet remain planted but her torso moves rapidly from side to side. We left and caught a bus home, having finished about 9 liters of water between us. Still not sure if it was worth the ticket price, especially when compared to the previous weekend, but I'd stay it still was a good time, and I hope it comes back next year with a better lineup.

So after two days of working my new job, I'm officially disliking it. At least the days go by quickly, as I'm struggling to keep up with everything. I keep waiting for the 'Coffee is for Closers' speech. (First Prize: a new cadillac, Second Prize: a set of steak knives, Third Prize: You're Fired!) I'm sure it'll get better eventually (i hope) but this week is going to suck for sure. Friday I'm seeing the Olivia Tremor Control play in a club, which i'm stoked about. Also, no more outdoor concerts for the rest of the summer.

The Indie Sickness

Unlike certain friends of mine, I try to update my blog at least once a week.

I'm getting a bit nervous about my job, next week is going to be hell, due to everyone going on vacation at once. I'm supposed to step in and pick up the slack, despite not having any experience or knowledge regarding the job I'll be doing. I'd go into it in more detail, but I can only think of one regular reader who would understand anything I'd be writing about. My new/future supervisor seems like a major hardass, a big switch from my current boss (31 yr old hot chick who is a Pavement fan and occasionally, when the weather was cooler, wore some fantastic patent leather boots that distracted from her otherwise corporate-style facade.)

Last weekend was good. I stop short of saying it ruled. M and I attended the festival on saturday, arrived as the first act was starting. It was about 90 degrees; the type of weekend in which there were no lines for beer but loooooooong lines for water refills. Saturday AC Newman ruled, the Go! Team as well, Four Tet was ok. There was a great record fair going on at the same time (mostly vinyl) in which I somehow managed to avoid spending any money, mostly because I didn't want to carry around any used early Rolling Stones LPs for the rest of the day. We left partway through headliner Tortoise's set, completely exhausted, at 9:30 pm. It was ridiculous, my knees somehow get broken after standing in a crowd for an hour. We snacked on overpriced food, drank 3 beers between us, and only watched five bands up close, but it seemed like I had been in a 3-year tour of war duty. We took the el then bus home, and collapsed in a tangle.

The next day I went solo; woke up with a sneeze attack that never really stopped. Funny what 15,000 people stomping around a park filled with dead grass and dusty infields can do. Arrived around 4, saw great sets by andrew bird, deerhoof, the wrens, les savy fav, and the decemberists, and headed home. The last two were particularly awesome. Going to shows alone is nothing really new for me, but the festivally atmosphere of group comradarie made me feel extra alone. But music tends to make up for these things.

The next day I woke up after sleeping for only a couple hours. I decided to call in sick for the first time in about 3 years to any job. I compensated by doing laundry, running errands, buying food, cooking dinner, and reading the entire 6th Harry Potter book (a mild thumbs up, but it's no Goblet of Fire, y'all!!!) So another four day week for me, which pretty much rules, except I still have a nasty cough from this weekend (apparently a lot of festival attendees do) and am trying to learn a million things at once. This weekend is Lollapalooza, which will be similar except much more expensive, and then next week I'll be pushed into the fire at work, attempting to survive. We'll see what happens.

Back and Forth

It's only Tuesday and I'm already excited for the weekend. Saturday and Sunday I'll be attending the Intonation Music Fest; listening to a bunch of bands so cool that even I haven't heard them, plus some I do know fairly well, like:The Decemberists, Tortoise, AC Newman (of best of 2004 fame), the Go! Team, Les Savy Fav, The Hold Steady, Four Tet, Broken Social Scene, Deerhoof, and Death From Above 1979. At only 15 bucks a day it's quite a deal.

I know you're thinking, man, is this dude paying paid to advertise? Well, no, but this dude would like to avoid attending solo on Sunday (which has the best lineup, btw) so is trying to encourage fellow chicagoans to attend. But not everyone. Since the crowd is going to be made up of rock solid hipsters and the like, anyone who decides to come along must be cool enough not to embarrass me. I have nightmares about someone asking, loudly: "So what is 'post-rock' exactly?" OH! THE EMBARRASSMENT!!!

Also, i'm sure the current 5 day work week is causing me to prematurely dream about the weekend. Also looking forward to celebratory all you can eat indian food at friday lunch, which will eliminate all possibility of me doing anything productive for the rest of the day. So a 4 and a half day work week, basically.

last weekend I saw my family again. God, two weeks in a row, who do they think they are? My sister had a couple job interviews in some north suburbs, so the entire gang came along and stopped by for a few hours on saturday. Sunday M and I went to the beach. I have great inhibitions about swimming in the foul cesspool that is Lake Michigan, but I did it anyway and so far have not shown any ill effects. There were lifeguards in rowboats in the water, and one yelled at me for going past him. At this I stood up in water which came below my chest. Apparently that's far enough, mister. There was only about 25 minutes of 'swimming,' otherwise I succeeded in getting various bodyparts sunburnt (tops of my feet again, argh!) and being bored. Later sunday we went to see a movie of my choice, Me and You and Everyone We Know, currently in limited release. Best movie I've seen all year, I think. But it's right up my alley, your taste may differ, and I respect that.

Ha, ha ha, just kidding.

What the F...

...is up with the weird extra spaces and ugliness of this blog? It just happened out of the blue! If anyone is brainy enough to fix it, let me know.

Dynamic Calories

To bring you up to speed, Madison was a great success. It hasn't changed too much, and the air of familiarity was sweet-smelling indeed. Felt odd to drive across town without moving 5 feet at a time. Favorite restaurants are still there. Our hotel was nice but waaaaaaaaaay on the east side. They had a 'hospitality hour' on saturday from 5 to 7. The place was packed with the elderly, so I decided to get in the spirit by demanding my free old fashioned. Well, perhaps it was the bartender's inherent suspicion of anyone born after 1955, but the amount of alcohol in my (small, plastic) cup couldn't have given a fruit fly a buzz. However, two beers and two bowls of pretzels later, I had my revenge.

Then occurred a four day workweek, followed by a four day weekend, followed by another four day workweek, a pattern I wouldn't mind following indefinitely. The first four days kind of sucked, but during the second I made was has lately been a semi-annual journey to the land of my birth. M was working something fierce, and her reaction when I asked if I could take her car for four days was fierce enough to cause old people, pregnant women, and those with heart problems to drop dead immediately. My youth and vitality prevailed. I ended up getting a ride with a coworker and her friend to a town an hour west of my hometown. This journey, delayed by someone's lateness, someone's crazy hangover, and someone's poor driving skills, took about 9 hours. Finally made it home, and was treated like a king, with a giant steak from the grill and some brews. The next day I ate venison bacon for brunch, watched the amazing 150th anniversary of my town parade, won 3 of 4 games of HORSE at the driveway basketball hoop, and found a dead squirrel in my grade-school baseball glove. I caught a ride to the foxy cities with Dave and his wife, then marveled at FFL Nate's new bachelor pad, which is new enough to not be completely trashed. There was much of hanging out over the next 24 hours, soon Corey arrived and made me get enough actual exercise to cause soreness (or was that from sleeping on the floor?). Decadence continued until monday early afternoon, when I celebrated our nation's independence by waiting two hours for my late greyhound bus. I further rejoiced by enjoying an unnecessary 50 minute layover in Milwaukee.

This week I've had to work like a crazy person. Exciting news = I'm getting a 'promotion' of sorts at work. This promotion entails the following:

1. No more easy or boring work
2. A new cubicle in a heavy traffic area, meaning no more websurfing
3. Doing a new job (insurance broker) which will teach me valuable new skills by being so far over my head that I keep being told not to panic.
4. While doing new job, also do all the IT stuff I've been doing the past few months, except instead of having it take up 75% of my time, it should now take up 25%.
5. Being moved to salary, which means no more overtime.
6. Not getting a raise.
7. Not getting any sort of bonus.

Today I was told to meet with our division's CEO about this. I was expecting possibly #7 on the list from this, but instead all I received was the imperative "Work Hard." That was fulfilling.

Vacation, Part Deux

Since last week was a disaster, we've decided to take a mini-trip back up to Madison for the weekend. Nice-looking hotel on the far east side, plus two tickets to the Nostalgia Train. Party like it's September 2004, y'all!

Not much has been happening lately. Last night I had dinner and many beers with some coworkers, then 'ran' about 800 blocks to catch my train home in time for most of the bastetball game. T-Dunc owned in the third quarter. Take that, haters!

Uh, um, I also shaved off my vacation-beard, which was down to a vacation-goatee. My office-groupies all had strong reactions.

Last weekend we saw Batman Begins. My office building is in Gotham City!!! I could totally be Robin!

My Morning Routine

First I hit my yahoo page, which contains news from politics to sports to entertainment to my email, then it's my sparingly updating friends, including N-dawg, C-Mac, the Dave, and especially my chi-town crew. Then it's pitchfork, salon (you have to watch a 'web-mercial' but it's worth it, especially the 'war room', 'fix', sports daily, and anything written by heather havrilesky, one of the best SFFWs around), and McSweeney's. Check for anything new on ESPN (page 2 especially) and Roger Ebert. Get nerdy entertainment news from defamer, TVgasm, and Ain't it cool news. Check chicagoist for local happenings. Good blogs include fluxblog, stereogum, whatevs, TMFTML, rabbit blog (h. havrilesky again), and fittedsweats. All these and maybe a few detours and suddenly it's 10 am and the day is off to a great start.

13 days ago I said, boldly, "Spurs in six"......

Priceless

Back to work after vacation today, my protest is a two-tiered process:
1. Not shaving off my impressive vacation-beard.
2. Not actually doing any work.

I should put the word "vacation" in quotes though, since I use the term loosely. Sure, I did have an entire week off of work, returning to find 100 emails and everything screwed up beyond repair. So that counts. I did get to go to New York, see a few sights, so that counts as well. But, I just have this slight nagging feeling that something didn't seem right while on the trip. Just a little voice in the back of my head. I think maybe that this feeling was strongest when I took M to the Emergency Room at 4 in the morning on Wednesday, or maybe sometime during the next 36 hours that she was in the hospital with a kidney infection. The "flu" that had cut dramatically short our first four days of activity was actually something called "Pyelonephritis" which kept us occupied until the flight home. No worries, things are OK now, and we had stopped freaking out within a couple hours of the time we got to the hospital. But the quality of the trip suffered a bit from day one, we had to cancel basically all activity after 5 pm the first few days, she kept feeling weak and feverish (hence the 'flu' diagnosis) and went to bed at 9 pm (8 Chicago time) or earlier while I watched the playoffs, read, or walked the streets and bought a six-pack of beer. We did get to do a few things in between, like: taking endless walks through central park, seeing chinatown, little italy, coney island (the cyclone kicked our asses), times square, the staten island ferry (we were in 4 of 5 boroughs), midtown and 5th ave, the museum of tv and radio, and a couple of good restaurants. But I had lots more planned (first day in my head included seeing a band play at 2 am and THEN going to an afterparty at another bar, instead I picked up chinese and M was asleep at 9 o'clock). There was way too much time spent in the hotel room, and not in any sort of good way. We saw a mouse there on our last night. I was not allowed to stay the night in the hospital, so I took cabs back and forth and became an expert cab hailer. Subways were easy to navigate as well. I'll go back, someday.

This weekend was spent lying around the house. M went alone to Milwaukee to help her dad clean graffiti off of his house (the perfect father's day activity!) and I drank a bottle of wine and scratched myself. We went to dinner last night, I ate 3 people's entrees, including my own.

Sucky vacation, but I Will Be Avenged!!!!

Sorry, kids, there will be no food this week, we had to buy a mixed media collage.

Plan:
1. Buy art from young artist.
2. Tell all friends to spread the word that young artist (Allan Tuttle) is the next big thing.
3. Observe as word spreads and future works get snapped up like hotcakes.
4. Trade in art for giant mansion.
5. The End.

Come on! Feel the Illinoise!

thunder lightning strike and it's a baseball-colored sky saturday that proves to be the day I finally break out the shorts, exposing knee scars and nearly enough leg hair to be called 'wookie-like.' Mr Popular declined an invitation to a party tonight to attend another, in honor of the birthday of one of my fav local bloggers. In the meantime have been wasting the entire day putting obscure new music on my ipod, reading A Fortress of Solitude (which is supposed to be due back at the library today, but I just started it and I don't want to take it back, though it'll take me a while to finish), taking pointless walks around rainshowers, and vacuuming the apartment (not my idea).

Other weekly 'highlights' include fruitless shopping for new sneakers, suffering through a university drama club production of Sophocles' Electra (which didn't have anything at all to do with the movie starring Ms. Jennifer Garner). In another week I'll be in New York, which hopefully will be great. So if anyone lives in New York you're welcome to let me know some city secrets. I'm pissed I was too late to get Conan tickets. As i mentioned before, my absence from this city means that all my favorite bands can sneak in and play shows (Spoon, S. Malkmus, Sleater-Kinney, and Ted Leo, all in a week!) but hopefully they'll make it up to me someday. I'll see Spoon at Lolla, anyway, during the rock-filled month of 'Cool-ly'. (, that's never gonna stick)

Oh, SLGTM last week was awesome, full six-piece band played all the songs I missed last time. I ended up going solo, which is not terribly unusual, but still felt a bit self-conscious standing directly in the front of the unfortunately small crowd, singing all the lyrics (even the ones from the 7"s and limited release EPs) and sort of dancing, all completely sober.

i can't complain about much else, save for the lack of meaningful nicknames among new national sports teams these days. I'm also ashamed to say that "Beauty and the Geek" is the best reality show I've ever been forced to watch. Are you a 'beauty' or a 'geek'? Like I even had to ask.

i heard the dude blamed the chick. i heard the chick blamed the snake. i heard they were naked when they got busted.

If anyone is planning future vacations, I'd advise them to stay clear of Ft. Wayne, IN. My trip was fine, my rental car was shiny and new and I drove like a swallow flies. My hotel was a suite with a couch and 90 channels on the TV (except no Cinemax!!!!), the pool was small but deserted. I ate alone at a supper club type place, overpriced but on the company dime of course. I learned a thing or two, but most of my mental energy was absorbed by renting my car and checking into hotel and such. It felt like a vacation, and now it's hard to believe the week is over already. I highly recommend taking business trips.

So this is a holiday weekend, and while I'm not going anywhere exciting, I plan on having a terrific time. Saturday I'm going to see Saturday Looks Good To Me play for the first time since St. Patrick's weekend of reunion bliss, hopefully they will have a lineup suited for rockin' out this time. Any chicago residents are welcome to come along, no pun intended. Sunday and most of Monday M is off, so I'll probably be dragged somewhere that involves exchanging money for goods or services, but hopefully enjoy myself. What I really miss since moving here is grilling, G. Foreman doesn't quite cut it. If anyone has a grill, invite me over, I'll bring the finest meats available.

If for whatever reason I was dragged onto an open mic stage with only my electric guitar and amp, here are the songs I'd play:

1. "Moonage Daydream" - David Bowie
2. "Box Elder" - Pavement
3. "Let's Shake Hands" - White Stripes

What is the deal with Tom Cruise??? Even I wouldn't be that excited if I was dating Katie Holmes.

Watched the Criterion DVD of Hoop Dreams on Tuesday. A great documentary without a grandstanding director hogging camera time. (Though I do like 85% of each M. Moore film).

I bought the new S-K album yesterday, along with the new Malkmus. You can stream the former here, though you should just buy it. It comes with a live DVD.

The Sober Truth

Finally, someone asks for advice:

I have a problem. You see, I am in college right now...and find myself single. I'm very alone...and find myself drinking...by myself. Does drinking by yourself make you a loser?

Drunken in the Dark

Sorry for taking so long to respond, DITD, but I had nearly given up on the chance that anyone would actually ask for my advice. You see, it gets very lonely in this virtual ivory tower of mine, though I appear to have everything that a proud blog-owner could want (a loyal readership, an increasing hit-counter, membership to the exclusive 'bloggers-only' clubs around town), I longed desperately for some contact. A comment here or there, or hopefully, a sincere email asking for advice. I was lonely, just like you DITD. And when you are lonely, you want to do anything you can to make you feel differently. Such as... turning to alcohol. Somehow, the magic properties of alcohol affect us in such a way to make certain things easier to take, such as being lonely, dancing, cleaning your apartment, meeting your girlfriend's parents, mowing the lawn, going to the dentist, playing frisbee, flying kites, driving, going to work, sleeping, eating cereal, showering, going to church, voting, watching reality TV, and blogging.

Back to your question: drinking alone doesn't necessarily make you a loser. Everyone at some time or another enjoys a drinky drink to soak up their troubles, there's nothing wrong with that. But the thing is, drinking alone kind of sucks compared to drinking with other people. And the good thing about being in college is that everyone likes drinking. It is easy to find people to drink with! It's like that old Dave Chappelle joke about smoking weed with a Klan member; there's pretty much no reason anyone would refuse to drink with you if you ask them. As far as being single, that's fine too, and there's nothing more exciting than being single and drinking with a bunch of other single people. Even if you end up back home alone, it'll be a better time than sitting home all night drinking and reading some idiot's blog. You also have to enjoy being single, because someday you will experience a suffocating relationship and look back on this time as a golden age.

You should probably know that while typing I've been enjoying a very cold gin martini, and I'm alone in the apartment. Am I a loser? Well, depends on who you ask. But I have no qualms. In the past I went through my heavy share of ultradepressing drinking alone moments, but you'll always, hopefully, bounce back into drinking with others and making out with their friends.

If you have any questions, or just want an entire blog post devoted to a subject of your choice, please send an email to the address on the right.

Chaotic

As loyalists may know, during the day I spend the time I'm supposed to be working on boring office-y things daydreaming about being a Pop Culture commentator, or 'Fundit" on VH1. Well, I decided that I wouldn't be a very promising pop culture commentator if I accrued all my pop culture knowledge by reading blogs and online hipster magazines; I need more first-hand experience. I need to be 'in the shit,' as Vietnam veterans would put it. This means I need to watch more bad TV.

It just so happens that I'm lucky enough to live with someone who not only subscribes to US Weekly, but also has been talking seemingly nonstop for the past few weeks about the Britney Spears/K-Fed reality show, which finally aired last night on UPN. I figured this was the moment I've been waiting for to immerse myself fully and without guilt into the bile of popular culture.

Like the earlier alluded-to veterans, I think I may have terrifying flashbacks for years to come. Mrs. Spears has obviously been emotionally damaged by spending the last 6 or 7 years surrounded by people who dress her and do her hair and feel compelled (i.e. are paid) to carry on a conversation with her and seem interested. When you see a video or picture of her in a magazine you don't think about the fact that she never graduated high school and is possibly too stupid to be executed for any crimes; you think about the fact that her ass is the size and shape of a basketball.

I did manage to watch the entire hour. I should get a certificate or a plaque. To sum up: for the first half hour, Britney acts like a retarded donkey and complains that she needs companionship (is horny) and doesn't believe in marriage. In the second half, she brings K-Fed, who she met a couple times before, to London to give her some companionship at least three times a day. That's pretty much it. Even worse was the fact that instead of the traditional reality show look, the entire program was shot by Britney and her entourage on handheld cameras, giving it the weird combination of The Blair Witch Project meets a junior high slumber party.

After the show was over, I tried to cleanse the soul with the Velvet Underground, a chapter of One Hundred Years of Solitude, and the first act of Bottle Rocket, but nothing could make me clean again. On the plus side, it made going to work today much more enjoyable than usual.

Best News I've Heard All Week

"Speaking of mothers, let me give that oatmeal some brown sugar!"

The best show on TV (...ever?) gets renewed for another full season. If you don't think it's funny, you are banned from the blog.

I could throw you a party every single day

It always looks like trouble when a trip to the library is the most exciting part of your weekend, narrowly edging the trips to the produce market and Target, plus a dvd viewing of The Life Aquatic and the subsequent early-70s David Bowie marathon. On Friday M and I each chose numerically-titled movies to rent (Ocean's 12 vs. The Third Man, the former failed to live up to already low expectations, the latter is being saved for tonight.) Last week I finally got my state of IL driver's license, meaning no more fantastic tales of authority figures questioning my age (which last occurred at the Miller Brewery tour). I went Friday during lunch, and was lucky enough to get to stand in five separate lines. A year and change ago I took the State exam to be an employee of the DMV, I believed I did quite well on the test (which basically makes sure you're not dyslexic, and, using carefully worded multiple-choice questions, makes sure that when dealing with customers, you don't go batshit freaking insane), but, unfortunately there were no opening in my particular county of residence. Though at present it's hard to tell whether or not I'd like that particular career field more than my current one, I will have to agree that I'm less numb with my current position. The guy who administered the vision test (which I barely passed, stupid new contacts) was too lazy to push the little buttons on the control panel, so he simply held them down permanently with thumb-tacks, leaving his hands free to idly fondle himself while he stared off into space with his glazed eyes and mumble in a monotone. You have to admire someone with a job like that who says, "now, this job isn't too bad, but why do I have to move my fingers? I'm not your goddamned slave!" Granted, the fact that all the people in front of me were reading the exact same letters, and noticing the flashing lights on both sides, kind of helped me get through some of the tricky ones at the beginning. Like G and O, those bastards.

Thunder-stealer

Here's why the internet is wonderful: Last winter I included a song by Annie on my 'Best of 2004' mixtape, but her album isn't being released in the US until next month! Here's a great article from the Times.

I'm not an attention grabbing 'lookatme, lookatme, itsmybirthday, givemepresents!' type of person, in fact, I feel kinda smarmy telling anyone that my birthday is coming up. Big deal, a birthday. I don't want any presents, presents are usually disappointing. But it seems I work with someone who needs to tell everyone in the world (office) that it's her birthday, which happens to be on the same day (and year) as mine. And this is fine, she's a good person, happy birthday to her. But this also means we'd be standing next to each other, and a million and three people would come up and wish her a happy birthday, or give her a card or a big bag of cash, and she'd say 'it's his birthday too,' and whoever would say 'oh, i didn't know. uh..... happy birthday.' I signed a card for her that someone passed around the office. It had fifty signatures on it, each with a personal message. And the weird thing is, she's been working there less than a year, so this is the first birthday she's had. So it's not like a big annual tradition or anything. Today a group of 14 of us went out for lunch, and her birthday was supposed to be the occasion. I'd guess barely half knew it was mine too. So when the bill comes, someone says, "OK, divide by 13, since it's her birthday lunch, she doesn't have to pay." And I get out my wallet and someone else whispers back 'well, it's his birthday too.' then there is a long awkward pause, before the first person says, 'well, ok, divide it by 12 then.' And everyone grumbles when they hear what they owe, and one person tells me to put my wallet away while at least 10 others curse my name. I tried making up for it by buying a round of beers after work, but I still felt pretty much like an asshole.