Make all elevators smell like your sixth-grade girlfriends and boyfriends

Thursday as i was leaving work, about 6:30 and already mostly dark, I marvelled at the fact that my car seems to be acting OK, and I only had 9 days left before I no longer had to worry about it. I wished I wouldn't have spent so much time worrying about it over the past few months, and instead concentrated my time on sometime worthwhile, like helping the poor or painting by number. I left the parking lot and went around the block backwards from usual, just because I never have before. I got on the highway and headed home. Traffic was moderate, so after the second stoplight on hwy 51, it took a while for the line to get going again. I crossed the intersection and had to brake slightly.

the next 5 seconds:
Though when i was at the stoplight earlier there was no one behind me, i looked in my rearview mirror as i was braking and saw a car approaching fast. I though, "Gee Whiz, that car is going to have to brake pretty hard, it looks like it's going pretty fast. I surely hope that it doesn't bump me slightly." Sometimes while driving I marvel at how much trust of strangers it requires. You trust that people are going to use their turn signals and check their blind spots. You also trust that when a car approaches you from behind, it will brake, instead of hitting you at full speed, pushing you for a ways before veering off to the left, finally coming to a stop 50 yards ahead. My car was spun to the right, nearly falling into the ditch, before the engine died.

I thought that I was pushed into the vehicle ahead of me, but it turns out we were the only two cars involved, with everyone ahead of me driving off. I tried to start my car to move it out of the road, but it wouldn't start. A woman thrust her cell phone in my face, where I told an unknown voice that I didn't think i was hurt but didn't know about the other person. Police came quick, followed by paramedics who checked on the other driver, who got a ticket, who I found out the next day was a 70 yr old woman who had also been in an accident early that day. i knew she drove a toyota, because the nameplate was lying on the road by my car. My car, in addition to not starting, was destroyed in the back, everything was pushed up and dented all the way around both sides, and the bumper was ripped into a few pieces scattered all over the highway, along with random pieces of brakelight glass and metal from wherever. It also looked like the back springs were broken, and the body was resting on the rear wheels. Over the next hour or so i froze myself standing outside, talked to a cop, talked to a tow truck driver who took my car away to sit somewhere while the insurance business was sorted out. I never talked to the lady who hit me, but the cop gave me her name and address, and luckily she has the same insurance company as i do. The tow driver and the cop both said they couldn't give me a ride, because the other side of town was outside their areas, or some shite, so the friendly cop told me to walk to the nearest gas station and call a cab. I did, and the cab ride cost 2 dollars more than i had in my wallet, so i had to run into my house and find some loose change. I talked to my girl, my mom, and my insurance company, and went to bed. Yesterday I woke up at 530 at took the 615 bus, dropping me off a 15 minute walk from work, got there at 715. Talked to more insurance at work, they all told me that they couldn't really do anything for me since i only had liability coverage, and they had to wait for the other lady to file a claim, which she hadn't done. When i got home from work, after an hour bus ride, I called the old lady and told her to contact them or I'd beat the fuck out of her (just kidding). Yesterday my neck and shoulders started hurting, and it's hard to lie comfortably. Today i walked to the nearest grocery store in the rain and bought food to last me for another week and some of those instant heating pads, which aren't really doing anything so far. I have to catch another series of buses tonight, all in the name of working for 2.5 hours at the parking ramp. Hopefully monday I can get things more straightened out, someone needs to look at my car and tell me it's totalled, and give me a big check.

Next week also I had to train my replacement at work, which will be, ha ha, a pain in the neck I'm sure. Last wednesday all the underwriters took me to lunch, where i had a chicken chorizo enchalada, which was great. Yesterday I absentee voted, after a lot of deliberation I decided to go for Kerry. This wednesday I'm supposed to go to some happy hour thing after work, which will be a lot more fun now that I don't have to drive myself home. Also, don't have to worry about gas prices for a week! hooray! Next weekend i'm moving to chicago, and hopefully can fit everything into M's car, otherwise we'll put stuff we can't fit and stuff that was supposed to go to my parents, along with my car, in storage at some friend's house for the time being.

I've gotta go make lunch now, but in the meantime here's a very short story by Dave Eggers. He's one of a few males that I have or have had a very intense admiration for, not in a man-crush, sexual way, but more in a 'i wish he was my big brother' kind of way, or first cousin or uncle maybe. I'm not sure if this is a common thing, but I remember thinking that it would be the coolest if, say, my big brother Jack White could teach me how to play guitar, and let me fool around on his equipment, and I've learned how to play 'moonage daydream' by David Bowie in a very bratty garage-rock way (for real) and would he like to here it. I borrow Spike Jonze's movie camera and uncle michael chabon would edit my stories. And when my car was smashed on the highway, I'd call one of them to come pick me up.